> Dating and relationships not only in China but perhaps S. Korea and
> Japan...
> First off, these countries haven't much diversity in their long
> cultures.

> Basically, one people nations with one people ideologies. FACT.

> The local people really haven't had many opportunities to relate to
> people outside of their communities, much yet foreigners.

> Locals (country or city) are almost immediately suspicious when
> seeing any foreigner and one of their own sharing common activities
> together in public.

> Really most people would prefer to see foreigners as 24 hour round
> the clock English teachers / tourists = alone in the host country.

> Many prefer to be friends with a foreigner small groups...this
> reduces any public suspicion and clearly shows that the relationship
> is a platonic one.

> I've talked to foreigners who admitted the problems faced in
> relationships.
> (don't worry, i've had some experience of my own too.)

> From suspicion, to parents kindly giving money to the foreigner to
> stay away from their daughter, or total strangers in public, walking
> right up to the girl, and yelling at her about what a traitor to her
> own country people they think she is...the list goes on.

> If such societies had some degree of diversity, then maybe the people
> might have more relaxed attitudes towards this subject.

> Diversity in western countries, escpecially the USA, are developed
> but far from perfect.
> As you know a black and white relationship can still receive some
> amount of suspicion or disapproval. (i've lived this one.)

> Some people are fighting for same sex marriage laws to be passed, gay
> and lesbian rights, transgendered issues and rights.

> Yes, the USA certainly has ethnic and cultural diversity in it's
> borders, but the machine is far perfect.

> China, S. Korea and Japan haven't even come this far.

> i don't feel that dating and relationships in these societies are
> ever quite so natural or enjoyable for both people, unless they
> really have had the chance to really get to know each other.

> With language differences, i wonder how this is even possible.

> I believe that only a small percentage of fortunate people are
> enjoying such relationships. "Cheers to them! :)

> They have to have very thick skins, patience and a true commitment to
> each other.
> Even simple casual dating in these societies usually brings on
> suspicion from the locals.
> Going out for dinner or a drink, brings on some stares, and maybe
> even closed opinions.
> all this brings on a heavy social burden on both people involved.

> Some of the foreigners might be the scum of the earth, and some might
> be decent people.
> Some might be considered very good looking, or have charming
> personalites, and the locals might even ask these foreigners if they
> are married or not, or mislead some into thinking they should have
> girlfriends in their country.

> In China, when someone asks a foreigner if they have a girfriend, and
> that they should get one, it really doesn't mean anything at all.
> It's almost the same as asking someone if they have eaten today or
> not.

> The society has taught people to say many things that they just don't
> mean at all. Yes...it's two-faced, but don't worry because just about
> every society in the world has it's hipocrasy.

I have dated both in South Korea and in China. This was (of course) before finding the love of my life in China. After dating for a year, we got married and are now int he second year of that marriage as TWO foreigners living in South Korea. What you say here does happen, but it is not really as big a problem as it is made out to be.