Dear Laowai in China,

For the information of the uninitiated, and for those currently resident in houses constructed entirely of a brittle, transparent substance formed by the melting of silica, "laowai" is a term taken from Mandarin Chinese, which more or less means "white-skinned foreigner".

Now the only way you can be "laowai" is to be a white-skinned foreigner and in China...if, say, you were to travel to Thailand, you would transmogrify immediately into a "farang", and would, by way of example, find that you would have further metamorphosed into a "bule" were you to travel onward to indonesia... and all this without having made mention of the "guei-lo" monstrosity you become in more southern climes of the fair country originally mentioned, nor of the labels applied to distinguish such people by natives of countries to its immediate east.

Laowai in China, we are inconsolably appalled at the absurdity of your "handle"; surely the grammatical crime of tautology far outranks the mere misdemeanour of, say, a double negative, which is quite common a linguistic device and an accepted means of expression throughout many of the languages to be found on this fair planet.

we would be pleased if you would rectify this oversight immediately and so spare us all from further pain. suggested emendations would be "laowai" or "white-skinned person in China". obviously you cannot expect to get all the respect you no doubt deserve when you refer to yourself as "white-skinned person in China in China".

your partner in pedantry,

Miss Tick