I hear the university only allows female teachers with hairy armpits and male teachers with hairy nostrils, apparently its part of their hippyesqe hiring policy (of course qualifications are irrelevant because everyone who works there is in their first job with barely a degree under them anyway). And I here they threaten their employees with a pearcing from a unicorn's horn, or a squid ink tattoo declaring their sworn allegiance to the uni for life if they dare say anything negative. It sounds truly horrific, I feel they should be reported to the esl watchdog for crimes against teachers or something. I'm intrigued to hear others thoughts. Perhaps we can start a petition or something? Cases A to D, Professor, Coffeewriter, united we can stand!