We are in control to make our own decisions. But do you find yourself waiting on others to make a move, do people opinions hinder you? If yes, you should say a big NO! and take charge. “If you are a sheep in this world, you are not going to get much out of it.” Greg Norman

Every human is given a brain (hopefully with the manual has to how best to use it). In life you usually have choices in most situations. But when you have someone making all your key decisions or attempting to dedicate to you then, there is a problem. As human are known to change, so does our position about things changes. So how sure are you that the man that says NO today won’t be saying Yes tomorrow? I want you too know that people would either live with us or through us. They choice is ours. “When you take charge of your life, there is no longer a need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life."- Geoffrey F. Abert

“When we have begun to take charge of our lives, to own ourselves, there is no longer any need to ask permission of someone. - George O’Neil. Take a good look at yourself and the people that influence your decision. Are you enslaving yourself by making others decide your fate? The fact is that when you set boundaries and to state it clearly people usually keep to it. No one is going to can stop you without notifying you. An example is this short story.

It is about a stressed out secretary who is a very pleasant person we a big heart and wide ears too. She found out that her productivity and creative level had falling so low, and so did her happiness. So she decided spend the weekend with her mother to at least take a break from her problems. Her mother did not have to be psychic to know that her daughter is not in charge of her life. She sat her down and gave are the sermon if her life. When the daughter got back to work, she hung a visible sign on her cubicle. It read “We all are in charge of our lives. Every problem has a solution. I am here and willing to share only your solutions. Thanks.” At first people turned away from her, with both their problems and solutions. After awhile few brought her solutions and any one could not tell the difference, she helped them by identifying it as a problem and asking what they want to do about it. “You are what you are because of the conscious and subconscious choices you have made.” - Barbara Hall.

In this lady’s case her major problem was that everybody saw her has the “problem bin” and "gist bag". They would instinctive run to her and indirect took her life off her. But all that changed when she took charge and placed the boundaries. People hate boundaries but after sometime they either accept it or get used to it. Even Oprah Winfrey is a living witness of the benefits of being in charge. She said “I did not want to say "No" because I did not want people to think I am not nice. And that, to me, has been the greatest lesson of my life: to recognize that I am solely responsible for it, and not trying to please other people, and not living my life to please other people, but doing what my heart says all the time.”

I friend asked me how to take charge when you have people in your life that; dictate to you what to do and how things should be. If you can not leave without people like this then the earlier you make them see you are in charge the better. It is true that some of us feel we have to answer to some people but the moment we become adults (i.e. we are wise enough to foresee the consequence of our action). We should sit them, down and lay things straight. If they rule you they tend to ruin you. The choice is yours. Nobody has to agree with us. But if we agree within us that we are right. Then let’s take responsibility that comes with our action.

A trick you should try: Make ditch large enough to take in everyone in your life. (The ditch is a plan on how you would reach your goals, what you need done and how they fit in.) Next thing is to take charge and make everyone walk through the path and get them in willing or unwilling.

Basically:
• Set a plan for them
• Talk with them ( Note I said with and not to)
• Understand them (You do not have to agree to understand their views)
• Give them alternatives (e.g. I can not be Red but do you have any other colour you like)
• Conclude on them ( Place them where they belong)

You don’t have to be rude to proof your point; you should try to be clear, concise and avoid argument as much has possible. If they are not listening stop talking till they can. So, you need to be clear about what you want to do. Convince yourself it is the best (weigh the odds), look at alternative ways and ask yourself questions? If that is it then let them fit in. This is not to say that you should not help or take suggestions from people. You should, but you need to strike a balance. “You can not always control the wind, but you can control your sails."- Anthony Robbins

“Rule you world” “Live your dream” Take Charge Today!! "Do not let frustration turn you away from what you are trying to build." – Italian proverb.

Ola Olabimpe
http://www.mindjuicezine.com