Tagging the culprit usually woould not; stop the hurt caused or changed the done deed or the fact that something has to change. We can blame our past on our parents or the society but, we can not blame anyone for decisions we make today or our future mistakes. “Real birthdays are not annual affairs. “Real birthdays are the days when we have a new birth.”-Ralph Parlette.

Often times we are quick to judge or dish out blame when things go wrong. But the only sensible reason why we know ask why it happened is to learn from it. We should be more eager to know the lesson of very event than why it wouldn’t have happened. The truth is that when we don’t get what we want we get something else. Life is filled with ups and down but we have to learn to manage any situation we find ourselves. We would make mistakes at some points in our life. So we owe it to our future to make the next move the rightful one. “Yesterday is a cancelled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have, so spend it wisely.-Kim Lyons

Sometime what we need to change might not be the things we see. For instance, you might find out you are earning less than you spend. The instinctive solution would be to earn more, but what about those unnecessary spending? Should not you try cutting them down? Yes to earn more is a good idea but if you can not manage your pennies then you sure would not be able to control the big bulks. This shows that you need to thinking and planning before you decide on what needs to be change. The obvious is not always the only or best way out. “Dedicate yourself fully to an endeavour, be willing to sacrifice time, money and effort”. Ralph Marston.

Let look at another dimension of change. When you are continually doing something’s or working in place or living in an environment. You tend to get so comfortable and find it hard to want it to change. At times you can tell that you need to change, but we find it hard to comply with the reality of things. We constantly need to grow and evolve into the next stage of our lives. To move up in life is to get set, put in some conscious effort, and take up challenges. You might want to test the water before you dive but, the most important thing is the courage to take the risk and give it a try. Mildred W. Stouven said "A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain."

There are other times when we are forced to change how we do things. No doubt is never easy letting go ones habit. But, when you find yourself in a situation where you have to change for any reasonable reason. Know you have got two choices to acknowledge conditions as they exist and accept the responsibility for changing them or decisive yourself about the truth and deny yourself a chance to grow. Has it said that, the best thing to do when it's raining, is to let it rain. Get your rain coat if you may but, don’t try too hard to remain unchanged. “To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” Henri Bergson

Interestingly, a single man can not change his nation but a single man can influence the thought process of his immediate environment. You would find out that different people require different treatment. When you don’t like something about a person and you want them to change, never to think you can change them especially by not criticize them. You can’t change anyone who is not will to change. Even when you blackmail or torture them they might submit to the pressure but they will repel as soon as they can. The best way is to live by example, communicate your expectations, give reasons and as much as possible show them what is in it for them. “Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.”- Dale Carnegie

Tip to cope with change:

* Acknowledge the point of change.

* Think deeply about the process to achieve the desired or necessary change

* Ask yourself why you need to change and also “why not?”

* Have a plan. Don’t forget the “if” factor so a plan B and even C wont be bad idea)

* Get support! - remember you can’t be asking a small minds for a big picture

* Keep your eyes on the prize. Let your goal motivate you through the phase.

When it is time to change, let go and roll with the flow but be sure you need to change. We grow everyday, so be conscious of the changes. “Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat.”- Caroline Schroeder.

Ola Olabimpe
http://www.mindjuicezine.com