* Warning: Okay, so I've taken a blunt pill. A big one. If you're feeling a little emotionally fragile, you may want to read this one later. Or never. Don't say you weren't warned.

As a bloke who is constantly dealing with people who want to create positive change in their life (relationships, finances, career, health, appearance, attitude, lifestyle, etc.), I hear way too many excuses.

As a rule, I have more people tell me why they can't change than why they can. And while I acknowledge that we all have challenges, hurdles and obstacles to navigate and negotiate along our path (some more than others), in my humble opinion, most reasons (for not doing something) are in fact, not reasons at all.

They are excuses.

A reason for not going for a run is, "I have a broken leg." An excuse is, "I don't have the time."

We have the time. We don't make it. It's rarely about time. It's usually about us.

To be honest (there's a shock), I get sick and tired of people's whingeing, whining, complaining, rationalising and justifying why their life is a succession of unfinished endeavours. People who have lost and regained weight a hundred times and they're still looking for a quick fix and an easy solution. When we stop looking for easy and start looking for effective, then... we start to make real progress and start to create forever change.

(What we're all about).

I am over people telling me that their life (or something about their life) is not fair.

It's not about fair!

It's about dealing with life... and coping with our ever-changing, unpredictable world and everything in that dynamic environment; some of it will be great and some will be crap. Deal with it.

If you want to handicap yourself for life and be a chronic under-achiever, then tell yourself on a daily basis how tough you've got it and how unfair life is in your world.

This year take your summer holiday in The Sudan; you might re-think your hardship.

Some people have almost done it (whatever it is) three thousand times. They are always about to change. Every time you see them, they're just about to start some amazing life-changing process. Sure you are.

I would prefer to work with someone who has little talent, limited potential, a great attitude and a genuine readiness to change, than I would with some of the high-maintenance, rich, precious, deluded, spoiled brats that walk through my door who think that things should just happen for them, the world owes them something and that I will fix them!

Attention brats: the world owes you nothing. Neither does anybody else.

You owe you something. You owe it to you and your family to take your head out of your butt and wake up to yourself. Stop being a pain in the arse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop making excuses.

Stop making life hard.

Success has a price. The price is discomfort and the rewards are many and varied... but you need to decide if you are willing to pay that price. And pay it every day of your life; not for two weeks while you're 'in the zone' (I hate that term). When the motivation 'wears off' (and it does because we're human) we keep doing... even when it's not fun, easy, comfortable or convenient.

We keep doing because we don't want average. We keep doing because we have created different standards for ourselves. We keep doing because we know what we can be... and do. We keep doing because we don't want to live with regrets.

Because we want amazing. And amazing is something we create, not something that happens to us.

The irony of my job is that, while I'm a change specialist (for want of a better term) and many people come to me because they (allegedly) want to create a 'new and improved' version of themselves, more often than not, when I chat with them it becomes glaringly apparent that they are not ready to change at all.

It's like, "I'll change as long as I don't really have to do anything... or get uncomfortable... or deal with any of my issues.....or make any sacrifices... in fact Craig, don't you have a pill or something?"

"Sure I do; it's called the anti-idiot pill. Here, take one."

They want the benefits of change... but they don't want the journey. And the crazy thing is, the journey is where we grow, learn and change; you can't have one without the other. The journey is the best part! At the time we don't always think it is... but long-term we begin to understand how the discomfort, the speed-humps, the challenges and pain mould us, transform us and make us infinitely more capable, confident and competent. And happy. And fulfilled.

So many people are lost, directionless and unfulfilled once they become successful (whatever that is for them) because they're not in the journey any more... and the journey actually challenged them, stimulated them, fulfilled and gave them a sense of importance, value and self-worth every day. (All crucial for happiness).

Interestingly, many wealthy people who have 'hung up the boots' suffer from depression because all those great things are gone. Heaps of money and toys... not much else. Doh! Should have thought that through a bit more perhaps...

Mother Teresa was an amazing, inspirational, incredibly capable, resourceful and powerful woman because of her experiences. Because of her journey. And her faith. Because of the skills, knowledge and strength she gained through doing what she needed to do to achieve her very noble, selfless goals. She embraced discomfort... her life was uncomfortable. Because she understood the price of creating amazing and she was prepared to pay the price.

Sometimes, what we need to do, takes priority over what we want to do.

Every day I ask myself this question:

Do I want it enough?

And every day my answer is yes.

Craig Harper
http://www.craigharper.com/