Whatever happened to the simple thank you, please, I beg your pardon I’m sorry and numerous other simple common courtesies? Have we become so busy, self-absorbed, insensitive, self-centered and arrogant that we no longer have the time or interest in sharing these few, but simple, niceties? I don’t know about you but I believe there are fewer people with manors today than at any time in the past.

Is it a generational issue or just one of simple training or upbringing? Or, does it go even deeper than that. Are people so stressed or angry about life today that they don’t seem to care?

As a professional speaker, I speak at least 75 times each year around the world. This gives me a great deal of time to observe people from all walks of life in all parts of the US and many other countries. Here are a few things I have noticed.

Please keep in mind this list does not include everyone. If you are one of the thoughtful people, keep it up. You must remember that your actions are not about the other person and whether they deserve your polite behavior or attitudes, it is about you. Your behavior is nothing more than a reflection of who you are. Your behavior speaks volumes about how you were raised, what you believe and who you are becoming.

I am only mentioning what I feel are some minor, yet simple, slights that annoy some people (me, for one) that seem to be more, than less, common today. People:

1. Generally ignore others, unless they are forced to become involved with them in some way.
2. Don’t notice when others would benefit from their holding a door, or elevator, open just a little longer.
3. Don’t say good-bye when they hang up from a telephone conversation. They just disappear.
4. Don’t do what they say they are going to do.
5. Don’t listen to others while they are talking.
6. Are rude in general.
7. Are loud in public places like restaurants and airplanes.
8. Act like the world and everything and everyone in it was created for their convenience.
9. Don’t say thank you, please, pardon me, etc. – unless they are talking to the president of the company or someone they are trying to impress.
10. Let their children run rampant down the corridors of hotels at midnight.
11. Walk past someone on the street in their home town and can’t find the

energy to say hello or good morning.

Is it just me, or have you noticed that many people are guilty of any one, or many of the above slights? (plus many others that I have not mentioned).

How would you rate yourself on the courtesy scale? Why not give yourself a 1-10. Then ask others with whom you come in contact frequently to rate you. If everyone rates you within 1-2 numbers of your own, (whatever the rating) then good for you. You are in touch with reality of your behavior regardless of where you fall.

However, if several people rate you well below or above your own personal view of yourself, you have some work to do. Either you are more courteous than you think you are (pat yourself on the back), or you are an insensitive idiot.

Tim Connor
www.timconnor.com