One of the interesting qualities of humans is the fact that our self-esteem is influenced by words. The old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me," is almost a complete lie.

What is also surprising is that only "certain" words or statements impact our self-confidence and feelings of self-worth.

Years ago, I was a substitute teacher in Southeast Los Angeles. While the young adults would call each other many names, only the statement, "You're a punk." Or "Your mother..." would cause instantaneous fights.

That is probably a good example for most of us as we think about how sensitive we are to certain words. The real issue comes to a head whenever someone we care about gets into a fight with us and says those specific words in a mean way. At that moment, we act as if the words are completely accurate and attack back.

But, I have worked with adults who were very sensitive to teasing at work and would get their feelings tremendously hurt if someone teased them. Or, there are people whose self-confidence is very shaken if someone says anything critical. Or, there are people who think that every word about them is like a knife that stabs them in the heart.

How can we allow our self-esteem to be so affected by simple words? Surely no one likes criticism but aren't we greater than just what we do for a portion of the day at work? Or at home? Or on our vacations?

Certainly.

The solution is to begin to take stock of ourselves objectively. Yes, I am a chunky monkey, short, too easy going,... But I am also a hard worker, persistent, a nice guy...

While I am not here trying to extol my weaknesses or virtues, I am advocating that you take stock of yourself. If you don't know who you are, every word about you could be hurtful and destructive to your self-confidence even if it is accurate.

What have you achieved with your life? If your achievements fall short, don't get upset; get active and begin working on it. If you are overweight, work either to loose the weight (the best solution) or work to be fit and fat.

If you don't know who you are, ask someone around you to describe you to you. I know this is a scary proposition but how can you develop good self-esteem if you aren't even sure who you are?

Hi, my name is Dan Watson and my daily job is that of a psychologist. My goal is to provide the reader with insights and techniques to assist in controlling stress, in reducing anxieties and depressions, and in improving sleep. Read more at http://www.stresscontrolnow.com/stressless