We all know those people that can walk into a crowded filled with people that they have never met and be able to strike up a conversation with anyone with ease. They seem to exude self confidence and self assurance. What is it that they know that the rest of us do not? There are some of us that are so shy that it literally stops us from experiencing life. The good news is, is that it is possible to over shyness.

In order to overcome shyness, we need to know what causes it. Lack of self confidence and self acceptance are the key components of shyness. Society puts a lot of demands on each of us; all of us play more then one role in our lives. Our own perception of how well we perform in each of these roles directly affects our levels of confidence and acceptance. Are we a good enough mom, dad, worker, daughter, son, wife, husband... the list goes on. I would like to offer you one big piece of information that can forever change your life, right now. Ready, here it is, there is no perfect person. Did you get that? You are not alone, no one is perfect.

Ok, so if we know that lack of self confidence and self acceptance is what promotes our shyness, then what do we do to change that. First I am going to tell you to do something that is probably the hardest thing you will ever do in your entire life. I say this from experience, it isn't easy and for some it may take longer then it does for others. But this is really what you need to do. Look in the mirror and accept your self right now for who you are. See who you really are and all that you have to offer yourself and those around you. Stop looking for what you don't think you have that you should have and look at what you have. Be comfortable with you, there is honestly no reason for you not to be.

Unfortunately we live in a society that promotes self doubt and low self esteem. Seeing as how it is absolutely crucial to have self acceptance to be self confident and overcome your shyness, here are some tips that are going to be able to help you.

Tip One: Smile at yourself in the mirror every time you look in the mirror.

Ok, so it seems silly and you will probably stand there and make faces at yourself the first few times. But smile, and get comfortable with your smile and happy with the reflection in the mirror.

Think about those people that you see walking into the crowded room and striking up conversations. They are smiling. You can do that. It is inviting, it will make you feel better and make you appear friendly. People will want to talk to you. That helps you, you don't have to strike up a conversation then, they will start one with you.

Tip Two: Always dress your best.

Everyone feels better dressed up. You don't have to wear an evening gown or a tux every day but you can dress nice. Trade in the sweat pants for casual dress pants and a nice shirt. If you really love your jeans, make sure that they are nice jeans and pair them with a nice shirt. Buy a new pair of shoes. I love shoes, and I always feel like a million bucks when I get a new pair of great shoes. This does wonders for your self esteem.

Tip Three: Imagine the worst case scenario for any situation and how you will handle it.

It may be fair enough to say that for a shy person the worst case scenario could be someone wanting to talk to them. Or starting a conversation and coming of like a complete idiot. What if your worst case is no one wanting to talk to you at all.

So what do you do then? Suppose you are standing there and someone comes up to start talking to you. You can't run away, you'll knock people over, you could trip. You may have to talk to them. So in you head I want you to practice a conversation on a topic that you are comfortable with. Don't worry about the other person not wanting to talk about the subject. The important thing right now is to actually attempt the conversation. This is about baby steps, you have to first talk and then you can worry about reactions and how well it went.

Ok, you have a conversation and you think that you sound like a complete idiot. Change the subject to a topic that you are comfortable with. Or don't really focus on what you are saying, but listen to what the other person is saying. There are times when our nerves get the best of us and we tend to want to talk five thousand words a minute, which can make us sound like an idiot, stop. Breathe and listen to the person talking to you. Ask them questions about what they are saying, about them. People love to feel like they are really being listened to and that what they are saying matters.

No one wants to talk to you. I want you to take this opportunity then to watch people. Really pay attention to how people interact with one another. This can be a great learning experience for you. There are bound to be behaviors that you can witness that will make you think, I can do that.

Tip Four: Walk with your head up and sure of your step.

Confident people do not walk with their heads down and scuff their feet. Practice your walk in private until your feel comfortable enough with it to do it in public. Speak firmly when you talk. Try to eliminate "ums" all that you can. Sound like you know what you are talking about. If you can't convince yourself then you won't be able to convince anyone else.

Tip Five: Join clubs that reflect your interest.

It may seem like a ridiculous recommendation for a shy person. But the point is to increase your self confidence. Joining a club where you are surrounded by people with similar interests is bound to make talking to people easier. You are in an environment where you are dealing with a topic that you know so you can't feel like an idiot.

The point is that you can overcome your shyness. These are only a few tips, there are others out there, but the bottom line is that you have to make the effort. Increasing your self acceptance will help boost your self confidence. This will help you overcome your shyness. Look at yourself and like what you see. Remember there are no perfect people.

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