Happiness is the state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values. - Ayn Rand

How many people do you know go to work and become someone they do not want to be? Either they are selling a product or service they don’t believe in, reaching for a bottom line that has no meaning for them, or are simply plugging along because it is what they have always done but their work represents nothing of their authentic self.

I recently worked with a client who felt like every time she walked in her office she had to become someone else. She even had a name for this “identity” and when we talked about why it was important for her to give this other persona a name, she said it allowed her to disconnect from the things she did that she didn’t believe in or want to be identified with. She struggled with something many people face every day - a great paying job that left her empty inside.

So, what is the answer? She came to me to help her sort out her options and in many ways to get permission to “look around”. For years she felt like she had no choice, there were no options that felt viable. So, here is one of the exercises we did to open up her mind to the real options staring her in the face. You can ask yourself these questions too.

Step 1 – Identify all of the things you do at work that feel counter to your authentic self. Can you name the feeling? Can you identify what is going on for you physically when you are doing or saying things that feel counter to your authentic self?

Step 2 – Identify some specific moments during the past several weeks where you felt like you were able to express your true self at work. What were you doing? With whom were you working? How did you feel physically?

Step 3 – Identify some specific moments during the past several weeks where you felt like you were able to express your authentic self outside of work. What were you doing? What makes you feel genuine? How important is that to you?

Step 4 – What would have to happen for you to be able to fully express your authentic self at work? What do you feel is getting in your way? Complete these sentences: If only

_____________________ I would feel much more authentic at work. If only

________________________________ I would feel better about my job.

Step 5 – If you were unable to identify any way for you to express your authentic self, determine what the payoff is for working in this job. Make a list of all of the benefits you receive from this job financially, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

Step 6 – Identify all of the benefits you would like to receive from your job financially, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

Step 7 – Determine what you are willing to do and what changes you are willing to make to make that your reality.

Step 8 – Identify what might hold you back from getting what you want.

Step 9 – Create a plan.

Step 10 – Acknowledge that no matter what you decide, you will get what you are committed to getting.

Melani Ward
http://www.coachmelani.typepad.com/