When I started writing, I typed out all of Bob Hope's monologues, studied them, then put them away. Two weeks later I reviewed the front page of the newspaper, duplicating his style with new topics. When I met Bob Hope, he asked me to write some jokes for him. I wrote 300, and he used 10 in a show where he only told 30 jokes. The next day he called me and said, "I like your stuff. It looks like you've been writing for me all your life." I said, "Mr. Hope, I have, only you didn't know about it."

Keep in mind that good stand-up comedy writers are neither anointed by God nor born into it; they just write a lot. All you need to do it is a pen and some paper.

Steal time; compose jokes in your head while you're stuck in traffic or shaving.

Write with a person in mind. Get into their pattern of speaking.

Duplicate the person's style, but use different topics or subject matter. Do this for many different performers.

Don't show anyone your work until you think it's terrific.

Research and analyze topics that interest you. Ask questions about your topic.

Understand that a joke occurs at the intersection of two ideas.

Connect ideas that go together or are wildly opposite.

Manipulate your audience. Take them down a particular road and then surprise them with something else.

Pull the rug out from under your audience. Employ good timing so that they don't step on the rug too early or get on it and then get off before you've had a chance to deliver the humor.

Respect your audience at the same time; they are your bread and butter.

Note: Don't plagiarize other people's jokes.