[], "we" understand your hate, "we" found out you gave away your two daughters, "we" think that is the root of all your derision, you wrote it yourself on your blog dareomni (dot) com

1. Unfortunately this blog was also created right in the epicenter of the most emo phase I’ve ever been through in my life. I’m all over the place and sometimes I just don’t have the energy to write unless anger, fear, or hatred get their claws into me. They’ve been the best motivation for pure survival in these dark times.

2. I have two girls already that I created – one with her and one with my ex-fiance. They live 400 miles away and I’ve seen them about an average of once a year for every year of their lives. It has always been a beautiful, painful, awkward, wanting experience for me. I have never really regretted it because they have all the things I want for my kids: stability and happiness. I’m not exactly thrilled about the conservative slant, but the family truly is the nicest possible conservative family.

But it hurts me on some level always. It always will. I feel a desire to just hug and hold both of those wonderful girls each time I see them. Yet I do not. I’m awkward and not good enough for them. They are both so awesome and so is their family – conservatism aside. They all have such love in that family. I’m sure they hide the bullshit and it’s not as “ideal” as it appears during our brief visits, but it seems pretty damn ideal to me considering the confines of reality.

Now about that teacher who died, why do you feel guilty if it was the school fault? was he wearing a helmet? was he drinking a lot with you and he didn't use to do it?

3. All I want for this birthday is no tragedy. I want to feel no worry or stress. I want to feel no guilt as I did last year when my friend died in a scooter accident on his way to my 35th birthday party. I want the relinquishment of fear. From now, until the day I die, my birthday will be shared with his passing. I will never be able to forget the horrors of that night. His intelligence was beyond compare with those I had met in my five years in China. We were just beginning to become close. We spoke philosophically and jovially just minutes before he got onto that scooter and died. How can one go through this and not feel that he has a mission. There must be a silver-lining dammit! His life must have meaning. There must be a reason.

You also write about Country Garden School:

4. I spent time worrying about the school again today. That’s the problem. Those sons of bitches over there living everyday with impunity after all the sins they have committed upon their fellow humans. I need to forgive and forget but I can’t yet. It’s eating me up.

“Forgive and forget” is what they tell us workers of the world isn’t it always? We have to forgive the sins of the powerful. Forgive them for destroying economies and politics and the future for all of us. Forgive them for seeking so much profit that they hurt the rest. Forgive them for sacrificing the many for themselves – again and again and again.

It is so obvious you are behind that cgsexposed website, didn't you notice you used the same format, font, etc? haha... you exposed yourself. Now if you want to HEAL your CANCER WOUNDS, move on and start exercising so you lose your 100 kilos... maybe take a walk with your son called GIRTH lol... REST IN PEACE []