HA, HA, that's funny! A few nights ago I was with a British friend and a Canadian friend. We were in a bar and a Scottish guy I know turned up. We were discussing what the script/dialogue of a Scottish porn film would be like. I'd love to watch one of those, would be hilarious, just for the vocabulary!

Well, that would be a great lesson for the advanced learners... Actually, I'd like to attend that lesson as a student myself.

Not sure if this board would ever allow me to post on link to a Scottish porno, if I ever found one. Therefore it might remain a mystery.

Although Irvine Welsh's other book 'Porno' would probably give you a few clues. Years since I last read it though, just remember the part where a girl is doing a really bad job of the oral scene, so the director interrupts the filming and HE gets down on his knees and shows her how to suck him off properly. Reading it is actually a challenge for the chapters that feature certain characters, I think Spud's sections were written completely in Scots dialect, ah nae ken what he's sayin' like.