"There are three easy ways of losing money - racing is the quickest, women the most pleasant, and farming the most certain. "
--Lord Amherst

"I married beneath me. All women do."
-- Lady Nancy Astor

"Women love the lie that saves their pride, but never an unflattering truth."
-- Gertrude Atherton

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time."
-- Tallulah Bankhead

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base."
-- Dave Barry

"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart."
--Erma Bombeck

"I'm the kind of woman who, when she walks into a party, all the other women leave the room.....I think I'm scary to people....I'm a bad girl."
--Lara Flynn Boyle

"Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone."
-- Lenny Bruce

"Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both."
-- Samuel Butler

"What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman."
-- Lord Byron

"Most great men and women are not perfectly rounded in their personalities but are instead people whose one driving enthusiasm is so great it makes their faults seem insignificant."
--Charles A. Cerami

"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing ~ and then marry him. "
-- Cher

"Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd."
-- William Congreve

"Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three dollar pantyhose that won't run."
-- Phyllis Diller

"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. ~ An optimist is one who hopes they are."
-- Senator Chauncey Depew

"Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. "
-- Isadora Duncan

"Let us treat men and women well; treat them as if they were real. Perhaps they are."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Feminism's agenda is basic: It asks that women not be forced to choose between public justice and private happiness."
--Susan Faludi

"A woman can look both moral and exciting - if she also looks as if it were quite a struggle."
-- Edna Ferber

"The great question ~ which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is `What does a woman want?'"
-- Sigmund Freud

"There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an afternoon."
-- Giraudoux

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Lewis Grizzard

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. "
-- Oliver Herford

"Man has will, but woman has her way. "
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. "
-- Edgar Watson Howe

"A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman as bad as she dares."
-- Elbert Hubbard

"A woman's whole life is a history of the affections."
-- Washington Irving

"You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy."
-- Erica Jong

"A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty."
-- Rudyard Kipling

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes." ~ ' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes."
-- Clare Boothe Luce

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
-- Groucho Marx

"A woman will always sacrifice herself if you give her the opportunity. It is her favorite form of self-indulgence."
--W. Somerset Maugham

"High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead."
-- Christopher Darlington Morley

"I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against. "
-- David Niven

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
-- Aristotle Onassis

"Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger. "
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her."
-- Helen Rowland

"Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened. "
--Rita Rudner

"Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. "
--Gloria Steinem

"Given the expectations of society at large, men are generally correct in their assumption that it is important for a woman to have a man. What they do not understand is how pathetically little difference it makes WHAT man. "
--Gloria Steinen

"There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse. "
-- Laurence Sterne

"Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?"
-- Barbara Streisand

"Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell."
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson

"'Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel."
-- William Makepeace Thackeray

"I hate women because they always know where things are. "
-- James Thurber

"From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money."
-- Sophie Tucker

"Women are like stars, there are millions of them out there, but only one can make your dreams come true. "
--Unknown

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."
-- Mae West

"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat."
-- Rebecca West

"Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. "
--Charlotte Whitton

"I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman."
-- Virginia Woolf

Danielle Hollister
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp