No doubt you've collected memorable quotes from your job or business. Here are some of the amazing things people have said to me since I started my business in 1992. And, yes, all of the quotes are true.

"Paying these royalties is a real hassle."

Comment: You can't judge a book publisher by the cover.
"I know that you're a much better speaker, and that your content is better, your materials are better, and even your fee is lower, but I decided to use a seminar company from out of state because my boss will approve it without asking any questions."

Comment: That explains why sometimes you find yourself in a really terrible seminar.
"I save all the invoices in a drawer and every four months or so I go through the stack and approve them."

Comment: I bet she would go ballistic if her paycheck were ten minutes late.
"Okay, in your case we'll make an exception and pay you on time."

Comment: Here's another person who fails to understand how business works.
"Instead of hiring a speaker we decided to spend our money on an ice sculpture."

Comment: I suppose it's more important to watch ice melt than learn something.
"I want you to send me a proposal with complete descriptions of all of your workshops, a resume, your client list for the past five years, a dozen testimonial letters, and a fee schedule. I've got 21 proposals so far and I want to collect 25."

Comment: If I were this man's boss, I'd fire him for being a public nuisance. (And I did not submit a proposal.)
"If she had wanted to act on your proposal, she would have returned your calls. Duh!"

Comment: Every vendor is also a customer, and in this case I responded to their rudeness by transferring my phone service to another company. Cost to them: over $1,200 per year.
"What do you charge to speak for 54 minutes?"

Comment: The same that I charge for 55 minutes. And 53 minutes.
"Now that we have your workbook, we'll use one of our staff to conduct the workshop."

Comment: Let me know when you start so I can call my attorney.
"You asked too many questions. You're not supposed to figure out that this is illegal."

Comment: We never ask too many questions. (And I only work with ethical companies.)

Steve Kaye
http://www.stevekaye.com