1. "A baby is God's way of saying the world should go on." - Doris
Smith

2. "My Dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby he
said, 'Is this a joke?" - Ken Dodd

3. "Being touched and caressed, being massaged, is food for the
infant; food as necessary as minerals, vitamins, and proteins.
Deprived of this food, the name of which is love, Babies would
rather die. And often they do." - Frederick Leboyer

4. "I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their
thumbs. Then I tasted "baby food." - Robert Orben

5. "Did you ever notice that a new baby always seem to bear a
striking resemblance to the relative who has the most money?" -
Robert Paul

6. "There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always
at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the
cat can't get it." - Irena Chalmers

7. "You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment." - Dave Barry, "Things That
It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"

8. "It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby
is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important
thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money." -
Elinor Goulding Smith

9. "Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops
babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a
horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't
do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it
sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a
parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until
the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends
hanging around your house all the time." - P.J. O'Rourke

10. "It is a pleasant thing to reflect upon, and furnishes a
complete answer to those who contend for the gradual degeneration of
the human species, that every baby born into the world is a finer
one than the last." - Charles Dickens

11. "If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn
and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a
young mother hear you call dear baby `it'." -Jerome K. Jerome

12. "Every new baby is a blind desperate vote for survival: people
who find themselves unable to register an effective political
protest against extermination do so by a biological act." - Lewis
Mumford

13. "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the
beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In
a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its
earth to concrete... babies are almost the only remaining link with
nature, with the natural world of living things from which we
spring." - Eda J. Le Shan

14. "A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy - the smile
that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that
lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother's love." -
Thomas C. Haliburton

15. "I don't know any parents that look into the eyes of a newborn
baby and say, How can we screw this kid up." - Russell Bishop

16. "Families with babies and families without are so sorry for each
other." - Ed Howe

17. "If you want a baby, have a new one. Don't baby the old one." -
Jessamyn West

18. "There is no finer investment for any community than putting
milk into babies." - Winston Churchill

19. "People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have
one." -Leo J. Burke

20. "A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it." -
Frank A. Clark

Copyright 2005, Bridget Mwape writes for the Baby Shop UK:
http://www.baby-shop.org.uk/