Take Life serious But Don't Exaggerate.

It is so easy to fall into the trap of taking things serious: Too serious.
We hold on to partners, possessions, careers, and lifestyles, long after
they have lost their meaning to us. This tendency to hold on may stem from a
deep insecurity in most people. The reasoning may be, in many instances, "I
know what I have, but I am not sure what I'll get."

And yet: how happy do these considerations and conservatisms make us? When
we make up the inner-balance, which side of the scale tips? And what do we
see when we take a critical look around us? Are the ones who release their
constrictions not the more relaxed ones? Think of them: The colleagues that
chose for a career-change instead of dragging themselves to an undesirable
workplace everyday, while you are still stuck there; the friends who got a
divorce instead of undergoing emotional abuse any longer, while you are
still scraping your self-esteem off the floor everyday; The acquaintances
that exchanged their expensive home for an easy apartment in a simpler
living area when times got rough, while you're still struggling to pay the
bills every month?

Letting go, whether psychological or physiological, is an art that only
develops through thorough examination of ourselves, and the society we live
in. It requires critical thinking and the development of an own insight,
independent from indoctrination. It also requires seeing things in a
perspective that starts with freeing ourselves from the burden of guilt and
devotion to the status-quo, which so many of the institutions we attend
teach us, and ends with releasing all factors that disturb our
inner-connection, which is the connection we have with ourselves.

If we know that life is limited and that it will end sooner or later; why do
we, then, cling to anything at all, especially if there are signs that
either our interest toward those things has diminished, or the interest of
those things toward us? Is imprisonment, whether physical or mental, not the
most humiliating of all states? So why, then, do so many of us settle for
it?

The answer, as indicated before, probably boils down to cultural and
societal indoctrination: expectations that we feel we have to live up to,
just because we were taught to do so: Marriages should last forever because
they are sacred; jobs should be cherished because they are so scarce; status
symbols (houses, cars, expensive outfits) should be maintained because they
make such a good impression: that's indoctrination, and we can only start
enjoying life if we see through this trick, and free ourselves from it. For
what is so sacred about a marriage that only drags you down emotionally? And
what is so precious about a job that you dread? And what is so impressive
about status symbols that force you into having 3 jobs and no time to
yourself at all?

Once we concur on these insights, we can start our strategy toward freeing
ourselves from indoctrination. How? Among the many ways that undoubtedly
exist, we could consider the following:

À Scrutinizing our real emotions toward everything we possess and
everyone we have a relationship with. If there are signs of discontent from
either side, we should reconsider the relationship.

À Respecting the institutions we attend (workplaces, schools,
churches, clubs), but regularly questioning ourselves as to whether these
institutions still fulfill a need within us and serve our purposes. If not,
we should reconsider the relationship.

À Doing at least one different thing at least once a year,
depending on the intensity, complexity, and costliness of our choice. For
doing different things, traveling to new places; going for a new, daring
production line; trying a new style of dressing; visiting a new restaurant,
will enlarge our horizons and enrich our spirits: we will meet new people,
see new things and discover new ways of living, and we will realize that the
ways we learned were not the only ones, and not necessarily the best.

What do the three abovementioned ways of freeing ourselves from
indoctrination have in common? Right! They all represent an awakening. And
being awake means, being aware. And being aware means, freeing ourselves
from pressure and silly influences. And the only way to free ourselves from
pressure and silly influences is to learn to think for ourselves. And the
only way we will learn to think for ourselves is when we expose ourselves to
new things and ways; critically evaluate the sense of the things we
currently do; and determine whether they still mean anything to us.

It is this determination of what still means something to us and what not,
that will eventually guide us toward leading a life that is less pressured
and controlled by all and everything but ourselves. It is this
determination, too, that will guide us toward the formulation of what really
matters to us at this moment and what not. And by consequently eliminating
those things that don't matter anymore, we will have established a less
complicated life, and we will have reached the point where we take it
seriously, but don't exaggerate.

Dr. Joan Marques
http://www.joanmarques.com