Has your life been filled with accomplishment after accomplishment? Have you always succeeded at everything you've set your mind to? Were you always one of the top picks for the baseball or volleyball team? Were you the homecoming king or queen? Were you wildly popular in grade school and high school, and did your phone ring off the hook with friends calling you to go out and do things all the time?

Well, if the above describes you, you can probably skip this article. Or better yet, forward it to someone who wasn't quite as fortunate as you growing up.

If the above doesn't describe you, maybe it's time to take a good hard look at your attitude about yourself, and life in general.

I believe the best way to start is to make peace with your past; with what you look like, and who you are. To look at most of the T.V. commercials and magazine ads you would believe that we're all suppose to be muscular and handsome; or shapely and beautiful, with soft supple skin and manageable hair.

I don't consider myself unattractive, but no one is beating my door down to do a commercial for Stetson Cologne; nor has Muscle and Fitness magazine made any offers. I'm a little heavier than I used to be, and of course my hair is getting a little gray, (or is that white";) and there's also that strange phenomenon where hair is starting to grow from places, where there once was none.

But, is that who I am? Should my success in life be determined by how I look or by my failures or short comings from the past? With the billions spent every year on cosmetics, plastic surgery, and millions of people stuck in dead end jobs, you might think so.

So, how does one go from "stinkin thinkin" to having a a good attitued about life and a successful frame of mind? Well, after forgiving yourself for past mistakes; and accepting yourself for who you are, you need to look forward and never look back. I do need to preface that statement with, if you have hurt someone or harbor ill will toward someone, you really need to deal with it. Saying you're sorry to someone you've hurt, or forgiving someone who's hurt you, can be two of the hardest things to do, yet they are the healing experiences that will turn your life around.

You must also change the way you view life and its many challanges. Everyone's heard the comparison between the person who sees a glass half full or half empty. A lot of people go through their lives saying things like; I hate this weather, I can't believe they give licenses to some of these idiots, nothing ever works right for me, I never win anything, I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I don't have any friends, I wish people would stop bugging me, I wish I was better looking, I wish I had this, I wish I had that, etc. etc. etc.

Do you get my point? Because of our past experiences, circumstances and maybe the way people treated us in the past, we walk around sabotaging ourselves. We become our own worse enemies just by the way we think and talk to ourselves about ourselves. Some of us have just forgotten how to be happy, and how to believe in ourselves.

Instead of finding the joy in things, we find the dark cloud. Instead of being grateful that our children our bugging us because they want to be around us, we feel their being pests and become annoyed. Instead of seeing the beauty in the rain that's falling outside, we curse the fact that we can't go golfing or for a bike ride. Many of us have become indoctrinated through our past experiences to view everything in a negative light, to see the worse in people and situations, and to always be on the defensive.

There are several ways to begin teaching ourselves to have a more positive attitude, I'll deal with just a couple right now. A healthy dose of prayer is where I always begin, but if prayer is not your thing you can move directly to step two. Take a piece of paper and start by listing all the good things about yourself. If you're having a hard time finding things you like about yourself, ask a friend or family member to help; trust me, you have a lot of good qualities you just need to recognize them. Next, move on to listing all the good things about your children, parents, spouses, friends, your house, your car, your current boss "good luck" , and everything else that you normally find fault with. Then put that piece of paper on the wall, and carry a copy of it with you everywhere and review it on a regular basis.

Now, look around you and focus on the good, it's there if you really want to find it. I do realize there is a lot of bad in the world, and we all have our imperfections, but we need to avoid spending our time dwelling on those things.

You can acquire a good or positive attitude, but it starts off with giving no quarter to "stinkin thinkin". You need to stay on top of the way you are viewing things, and when you find yourself seeing the dark cloud in a situation stop and make yourself see the other side of the equation, look at your piece of paper. You can even ask someone you care about to help you by giving you a gentle reminder when they hear you talking negatively.

Wishing you success in every area of your life!

Mike Shanta
http://www.all-round-success.com/