One of the hardest things a person can do is make himself (or herself) do something he really doesn't want to do just because he knows it's good for him. Motivation is not only a good thing, it is absolutely necessary before anyone will act to do anything. Here is my definition:

Motivation

A set of psychological factors, having been met, creates an impulsion to act. An internal impelling of someone to want or be willing to do something.

That means, if someone is doing something, they must be motivated. If they are not doing it, they must not be motivated to do it, or they are motivated more to do something else. That is a fact. And that fact means that you must be motivated to do something or you won't do it. But how do we account for doing things we don't seem to be motivated to do?

The answer is what I call "Cross-over motivation". Again a definition:

Cross-Over Motivation

The use of a motivation to do one thing to make yourself want or be willing to do something else.

An example is: you really want to date a particular person, so you ask them out to do something you don't like to do (for instance, such as bowling) because they do like to go. Here, you are not motivated to go bowling, but you use your want to date this person as your cause to go anyway. To use a crossover motivation on purpose is called discipline.

We will look at discipline in a moment, but notice that what motivates the person to act isn't the want to go bowling. There is a cross-over desire to do or have a greater good that is accomplished through going bowling. It is a very powerful way to overcome an emotional response to something (such as disgust or annoyance) and stay focused on a more reliable approach to achieving your ultimate goals. This can easily be applied to both life in general and work.

Think about those mornings in school or college when you had an eight o'clock calculus class (or whatever) you really didn't want to attend. You were far more motivated to snuggle back up to your pillow and fughetaboudit! But in most cases you went to class. Why? Because in the back of your mind you heard a little voice say "you've already missed three classes and one more means you flunk the course. If you want a good job (or to get into med or law or graduate school, or don't want to hear your parents carp) you better get your anatomy out of bed and into class." That is what you were trying to accomplish...not going to calculus.

Of course the cross-over motivation might have been that you wanted to do well and you knew that missing the class would not help you do it. This is still not a direct motivation to be there. If you thought it was simply a review of what you already knew and you had three free skip days left, my bet is you would have turned back over and sawed logs.

In our every day lives and at work, we often find ourselves having to do things we really don't want (an emotional state) to do, so we look for a way to "make" ourselves do them. Use this cross-over motivation on purpose. Think about what larger purpose you serve in doing this unpleasant task--how it will help you or someone else in the longer run, or hurt you or someone else if you don't do it. Here is my definition for discipline:

Discipline

The ability to take the motivation for one thing, and focus on it as a motivation to do something you neither want nor would be otherwise willing to do.

An example is that you are so motivated to get into graduate school, that you use that motivator to make yourself study for an algebra exam tonight. You neither want nor would be otherwise willing to read algebra, but you use this alternate motivation as your impeller.

It is sometimes the job of a manager, supervisor, mom, dad, friend or counselor to remind others of the larger picture or the greater vision that can be used as a cross-over motivator. We all lose sight of our longer term goals sometimes as we focus on the immediate. If you consciously look for cross-over motivations for yourself, and help others see the benefits of doing useful but unpleasant things, there will be a great deal more accomplished in your life and in the lives of those you love. This is the very essence of courage, to stand up to strong emotions (such as dislike, disgust, complacency, indifference, etc.) and making yourself do the "right" thing. Try it once today, and prove it to yourself.

Cogito! You can't enjoy the Christmas lights if you don't put them up. No one likes to do what they don't like to do, but we very often like the result of doing it. Always keep your eye on the prize and forget the struggle. Nothing of value comes without it.

Phil D'Agostino, the author of Naked Thinking, how to feel less, think more and make better decisions, is a licensed psychologist, author of the email broadcast E-Motivator, professional speaker and corporate trainer, personal coach and human performance specialist. See his book at NakedThinking.com and his site at BeMotivated.Com

Adapted from Phil D'Agostino's Naked Thinking