Imagine you're driving in your car and realize that the low fuel light starts blinking on your dashboard. Before you make it to the next gas station, you run out of gas and your car comes to a stop. So, you sit in your car and try calling different people to come help you, but no one answers. Then suddenly, you realize that there's one person that will probably come and help you, but will want to point out and ask how could you have been so stupid to run out of gas. Grudgingly, you dial their number, they answer. Before agreeing to come help you, they go through the trouble of pointing out all the ways you could've avoided this situation and how only a fool could run out of gas in this day and technology. And though your first instinct is to literally choke them unconscious, you keep cool, listen while trying to ignore their verbal attacks, get the gas you need, and get the hell away from them as quickly as possible!

And even though you know that the reason you ran out of gas was an honest mistake that could (and probably has) happen to anyone, that negative voice in your head starts asking these questions:

Were they right? Am I stupid for running out of gas?

The obvious answer is no, but when we're used to being around people that get their kicks by beating up on our self-esteem, it's so easy to believe that they're right. We don't allow ourselves the right to be human at times to make mistakes. And we all have people in our lives that expect perfection from every decision we ever make, even when the people judging us can't straighten out their own lives.

So, how do we handle these kind of people?

Imagine you're standing in front of a fire when someone walks up to the fire, picks up a hot rock out of the fire and throws it at you. You can do one of three things:

- Catch the rock and burn your hands (causing intense pain)

- Let the it bounce off your chest (won't burn your hands, but leaved an internal bruise on your chest)

- Move out the way and avoid the rock completely by not trying to catch it

The rock is symbolic for any insult that someone will throw at you and you are responsible for how you will respond to it. Your response will determine what action you will take.

Catching the rock is equivalent to giving an automatic and reflexive response to the rock being thrown at you (They attack, so you attack). It may not have been your intention of going into defensive mode, but before you realized what happened, you're in full-blown attack mode and your giving and taking damage to your self-esteem.

Letting the rock bounce off your chest is your attempt to stand there, take the insults, and "act" like they don't affect you. But the injury is there; hidden on the inside that only you can see or feel, even if no one else can see it. And since that injury is internal, it will stay with you forever, bring reoccuring pain as a reminder, especially if there's a part of you that believes the insult is true.

Moving out of the way of the rock is seeing the insult for what it is (a personal attack meant to injure you), considering the source of the attack (probably a fool), considering the intent of the attacker (feeling better at your expense), and not wasting your time with someone who feels so bad about themselves that they're trying tear you down.

When you think about it, that's really a pathetic person that's trying to make you feel as bad as they do. So, when you realize you're dealing with someone with a lot of pain and misery in their own lives, why would you let someone like that make you feel bad by calling you stupid?

Listening to a pathetic fool is stupid! So, you have to ask yourself. were they right? Are you really that stupid?

(c) 2007 Paul M. Greenhill

Paul M. Greenhill
http://www.ihateyoungpunks.com