I am writing this column the day after Thanksgiving. It was a special day of acknowledging who and what I am grateful for. A commentator on TV made the suggestion that it should be a day focused on the moment and not on the past or the future. That sounded like a good suggestion, but started me thinking about how we all balance the past, present and future.

Maybe it was a 60’s thing, but the idea of “stopping to smell the roses” and living in the moment was established as a goal of self actualization and moving to a higher and better way of approaching life. As with many blossoming ideas in the 60’s, it was a logical rebellious response to the goal oriented approach of the post WW II families. Most in that generation wanted to become educated and build something for themselves. That future-focused approach worked, and built prosperity for many. Every new generation tends to push-off from their parents in the quest of distinguishing themselves as different and separate. This process often starts in the teenage years, and even runs into the mid 20’s.

Is living in the moment a better approach to life? As with most everything in life, there is no one answer. It is a matter of balance.

• Living in the past
We all know people, including ourselves, who “wallow in the past” at times. We have good and bad memories, regrets and “those were the good days” connections to the past. The danger of a “past” focus is becoming stuck there. Usually that fixation is a result of a lack of confidence in dealing with now or the future. It becomes very difficult for those folks to move forward. It is essential, however, that we take a look at, and embrace the past. The past is our map in finding our way. We utilize what we have learned to hopefully do it better this time.

• Living in the moment
Listen, look, touch, smell and taste. How often do we stop and embrace the world around us? Do we really look at those around us and appreciate our lives now? It is possible to have a Thanksgiving approach everyday? Unfortunately, many get stuck in “living in the moment”. They don’t know what has shaped their lives and don’t have any direction to move forward. It often becomes a matter of feeling lost after the “it just feels good” passes. Enjoying life is essential, and not doing so often leads to many regrets in later life.

• Living in the future
This is the realm of the achievers and goal setters. Most of their life is moving to attain the vision of the future. The fact is that we all need to have plans and goals. It is a big part of who we are as humans. For some, it is what gets them out of bed in the morning or keeps them working. Of course, the downside of living a goal oriented life is to not use the map of the past, or enjoy the moment.

To be mentally balanced is to see and embrace all three perspectives. We need to have a map from the past, stop and smell the roses, and have the goals to move us forward.

Steve Thayer
http://www.MyVitalFiles.com