Do you find yourself out of money, patience and energy this time of the year? It’s time to take care of you and create a sense of ease. The holidays are meant to be a time of connecting with loved ones, having more joy and a sense of celebration. Here at ways to go beyond surviving and on to thriving.

1. Be honest and communicate your feelings. If you are feeling stressed, let others know that you are just not quite yourself, but you are working on it. Notice if you are cranky, or short with others. These are signs of being stressed. Take a deep breath and let it be okay to feel what you are feeling. In this open communication, learn to ask for help. That is one of the key things you can do for yourself. Delegate, delegate, delegate. Others love to share and want to make the season joyful. Let them help you. Also, honor your boundaries and express them. This means learning to say no. Don’t try to be all things to all people. You don’t have to be the super entertainer, baker, shopper and all the other things that we believe are required at this time of the year. It’s okay to say no once in a while. Be open and honest and notice how much better you feel.

2. Give up being perfect. Oh, I know how those commercials entice you into thinking your table should be set perfectly, the decorations should look just so, everyone should be dressed up, the turkey should be browned just so. Can anyone really live up to those expectations? Honor yourself by getting in touch with how you really want to feel. Is it warm, joyful, connected? Take action to feel more of that instead of creating the perfect setting.

3. Stick to your normal routine. This is where most people get stressed out. You add extra hours of shopping and baking and decorating and then wonder at the end of the day why you are so depleted. It is so important to not overtax yourself. Don’t eat too much, or demand too many extra hours in your day. When we humans deviate too much from our routine, it causes stress. You don’t need to attend every holiday party. Once again, learn to say no. Stick as closely to your normal routine as possible.

4. Have a plan. Really plan ahead. Right after the holidays is a great time to take advantage of the sales and have all of your cards, wrapping, decorations and even gifts for the following year. Think of how much stress can be eliminated if most of it is done ahead of time. Write out a plan for shopping. Maybe commit to one hour a day and nothing more. Do not go over your planned hour.

5. Budget, budget, budget. This is not a word anyone wants to hear this time of the year. Not when your credit card companies are raising your limit so you can spend even more. Save all year long and don’t exceed what you have budgeted. A major cause of stress in the holidays is financial. If you spend only what you have planned on spending, think of how good that will feel when the New Year rolls around and you are not in debt.

6. Remember what you are really wanting. What is the essence of the holidays for you? It is a time for being grateful for all you have. You might want to create a gratitude journal. Spend extra time giving thanks for the many blessings you do have. Reach out to others with a joyful heart. You can give of your time. You can volunteer for a local charity.

7. Do not forget to take extra care of yourself. This is so important at this time of the year. What makes you feel good? Everyone has those special rituals that bring them comfort. Is it taking a long bath and reading a book? How about getting a massage, or sipping tea with a friend? It maybe as simple as renting a movie that makes you laugh. Whatever it is for you, do it. Honor your time and efforts and celebrate the wonders of you!

I am wishing you the best holiday season ever.

Dr. Nancy Heimstra
http://www.newneuralnets.com