One thing we all have in common is our desire to be successful. The first question I often ask when I'm speaking to a group is: "who wants to be successful?" Naturally, every hand in the room goes up without hesitation. People don't even have to think about it. "Of course I want to be successful, what a stupid question." I then tell them that they have five minutes to write down what "success" is. More often than not, the majority will sit there for the most (if not, all) of the allocated time staring blankly at the page, not knowing where to start, or what to write. "What do you want us to write", they ask. "You said you want to be successful, write down what that (success) is", I tell them.

Because, they have never really defined success (for their own life) I experience a range of reactions. Some people get defensive and grumpy, some people get critical ("this is stupid"), some get embarrassed and some have a revelation; they get it. Yes, they want 'different' and 'better' and 'more' but they don't actually know what that is. Here's a truth: Very few people actually define success for their own life.... and if you don't define it, you probably won't get it.

We put our hand in the air and say, "yes I want to be successful".. but we don't actually know what that means for us. We don't have clarity about our future; we have confusion and uncertainty. Sometimes we need to step back from the busy-ness and mayhem of our life, be still for a moment....and get some perspective, space and clarity.

In the course of my work I am constantly talking to people about the realities of their life and it never ceases to amaze me how many forty, fifty and sixty year olds have hated their life, or parts of it for years... but never really done anything to change it, because they have always let life happen to them. They are victims. They're angry, they're bitter, they're resentful, they're sad, they're frustrated and they're full of regrets. Apparently their crappy life is all about situations, circumstances, lost opportunities and bad luck.

When I point out that it's actually more about how they think, behave, react and choose, than it is about anything else... I get mixed responses. Just like we work at building a house or a business, we need to work at building our best life. We need to make decisions. We need to deal with our fears. We need to stop worrying about what others think. We need to stop procrastinating and making excuses. We need to stop lying to ourself and others.

We need to stop looking for the convenient, easy, comfortable path and look for the rewarding, challenging, exciting, amazing and fulfilling path. We need to stop waiting for the 'right' time.

Craig Harper
http://www.craigharper.com/