"I would rather be able to appreciate things I can not have than to have things I am not able to appreciate." -Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) American author, "A Message to Garcia"

I love going away from my home, even if only for a few hours, as the return is always a delight (in spite of the piles of ironing, the hoovering that needs doing and the children’s stuff spread over the floor!). We are privileged to live in a lovely house (which is still a work-in-progress after five and a half years, especially as our needs are evolving as the family grows), in a community that provides us with all that we need – food, friendship and support. The view from my window is really special and never fails to cheer me up if I am feeling a bit low (yes, even Life Coaches have those moments!), as long as I remember to take time to look. Every moment the light changes and we seem to have many more spectacular rainbows than any other place I have lived. I consider myself to be a very fortunate person.

It hasn’t always been like this. The difference between then and now is that now I actually take time to appreciate what I do have, rather than dwelling on what I don’t have. There will always be someone with a bigger house, a fancier car, and more expensive clothes. I could waste my life away wishing I was like that, or I could do what I now do. I actually look at what I do have and am thankful for it. I also remember that there will also always be people who have less than me, with more pressure, less time and in too many cases, who don’t even know where their next meal is coming from. I make sure I remember that regularly.

How about you? Are you always looking for more? More money, more food, more holidays, more clothes, more gadgets, more, more, more? It is easy to slip into that rut and forget what you do have already. That is not to say that you shouldn’t want to make progress, or make changes or even to buy things for yourself and your family. What I am suggesting is that you look behind that want and work out what is driving it. It could be a natural desire to improve yourself and your circumstances, but it also could be hiding something else. What are you really looking for? Will your life really be dramatically enhanced if you have everything you want? What else needs to change to make your life better and for you to feel that you are really fortunate in what you do have? Perhaps the change needs to be in attitude and not necessarily in what you have and are.

Are you certain that what you are aiming to achieve will give you want you want? When you have accomplished what you have set out to do, will it bring you satisfaction, or will you still be looking for more?

Have you been putting it off because it isn’t really what you want? Having things to aim at, like goals and targets can stretch and fulfill us; however it is only effective if we are working towards what we truly want. Are others placing expectations and demands on you to do more, be more? What is it that you want to have and to be? Take a stand. You will feel more engaged in what you are doing and more committed to your own success.

Do you need to change the way you think about your life? Are you always dwelling on what you don’t have, rather than what you do have? Take note of all the things that you currently have, or have achieved, and spend some time thinking about these. What are you most proud of? What gives you the greatest satisfaction? Who is in your life that makes it better?

Sometimes we feel discontented and lethargic through lack of movement. It is one of those funny things in life that expending energy in some form of activity in most cases leads to us feeling more energetic in the long run! Take a walk in the fresh air and look around at the wonderful world we live in! Even in a city there is usually something of interest. Look up at the detail on the buildings. Watch the diversity of people who pass you. Give your facial muscles a workout. Smile!

What would you really like to do that you’ve never got around to doing for one reason or another? Make today the day that you take the first steps to doing it. This can be finding out more about how you can get started or it could be that you actually start. Do you really want to look back in the future and wish you’d done more of the things you were interested in? Surely it’s better to try out new things and find out whether they are for you or not than always wonder…..

What will having more of everything make you feel? Happy? Fulfilled? Self-satisfied? How can you use your creative skills to give you those same feelings? What do you love doing? Writing? Drawing? Painting? Music in all its different aspects? Dance? Make time to indulge and take note of how wonderful you feel.

Changing the way you think costs only effort and takes practice. Rather than always be seeking for more, how about giving something of yourself to others? This could be in many ways – time, effort, skills, an ear to someone who needs to offload, possessions that you no longer need or want which may make all the difference to someone else and, in a way the simplest one, money. Rather than always be looking for more, more, more for yourself, you have it within you to give more, more, more to others.

Kate Harper
http://www.harpercoaching.com