Have you ever been inside a prison? When I did my internship I conducted workshops on Assertive Communication and Decision Making—two very important and empowering tools—in the New York State Women’s prison and the Men’s Minimum Security Prison, both in Bedford Hills, NY.

Each time I entered, I was impressed and humbled by the cold, damp concrete and crashing of metal doors and strict regimentation. It was startling when the sliding doors closed behind me—I was powerless to do anything and was at the mercy of the guards to allow me to leave. No words I could use or TV programs I could recommend would convey the emptiness and frustration that permeates the walls of a prison. Millions of people are within those walls, many for twenty or more years, others until they die—more often than not an early death.

Ironically, people in every walk of life have built their own prison. They have strong steel bars to hold them, tighter than the prisons holding criminals. Millions of people hold themselves captive. They incarcerate themselves and make environments that are worse than the prisons holding criminals. These private prisons are created in their minds. The walls are just as strong as the steel and damp concrete walls of any prison.

These private prisons are built of fear, excuses, pessimism, procrastination and complaining. Many people have ‘life sentences’ behind bars of ‘self-pity. Poor me—ain’t it awful, I wasn’t born rich or my dad or mother was a drunk, or I didn’t go to college—or “I can’t do that because___.” “I don’t have the money.”

Success is a choice! You are exactly where you are because of your choices. If you do not have enough money or time or love or companionship that is only because you have not decided that is what you want. Success is a choice—you need to decide to be successful and then take action to get there.

In my practice I see many people who want more money, love, affection and a better life. That is what they want, but when I ask them what they are willing to do to get what they want or what effort are they willing to put forth to get what they want—they are speechless and unable to define what they are willing to do. The answer is simple.

It does not take a miracle to be successful. It takes action, commitment and perseverance. It does not take a lot of money—money is the least of what is needed. Action, commitment and perseverance will draw money to you. The most difficult commodity to find is someone who will take action and persist until they are successful.

Success in any field is difficult. Few attain success without the help of others. Oh, there is talk about self-made men and women, but no matter how much anyone does to contribute to their success—careful assessment of the situation will inevitably reveal that everyone somehow— directly and indirectly—had some help along the way from the expertise of others.

Take advantage of the expertise of others so that you can avoid the pitfalls that could easily slow your progress and ultimate success. Life Coaching provides you with tools and awareness that will make your life easier and more successful. Once you have the awareness and tools, you will provide the action and motivation to be successful.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
www.drdorothy.net