When we have little self respect for ourselves or a very low self esteem it becomes very hard to be a success at anything. We often fail before we even start something, simply because we tend to avoid situations we fear. The very idea of something can send us running for the hills. But it is this very avoidance that is responsible for compounding the problem. You see, giving up something before you even start is habit forming. Each time you take the easy option you make it harder for yourself the next time.

Denis Waitley once said "To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives." So, the good news is that overcoming low self esteem is not as difficult as it may seem. The view that self confidence is something we are born with is simply not true. It can be learned like anything else and it comes through building on our previous successes and learning from our mistakes. It doesn't matter where you start from because success is only relative anyway. What is certain though, to build self esteem you must make the decisions that will allow success in to your life

Imagine how you will feel when you can face any situation with a spirit of adventure and a calm attitude. When toleration of uncertainty is second nature. When you become a "take me as I am" person who is not scared to fail once in a while. This is not arrogance, this is simply you being yourself and not dancing to the beat of someone else's drum. It is a big problem to go through life wanting to be liked or fearing others opinions of you. All our energy is diverted in the wrong direction. If I'm making a speech I want to making the speech and not be thinking about what the audience is thinking.

The true path to building self confidence is to devote yourself to excellence in all that you do!

Here is how it works. When making a decision, do your best to choose the better option over the easy option. The choices you make determine whether you 'remain in' or 'move out of' your comfort zone. The better option usually takes us out of our comfort zone. You see, we often settle for the easy choice because it is the one we are familiar with, even if it is not helping our cause.

When you have made your choice, devote excellence to the path you have chosen. In the beginning you will still probably avoid some of the more uncomfortable situations but this is to be expected. Mahatma Gandhi once said "No matter how insignificant the thing you have to do, do it as well as you can, give as much of your care and attention as you would give to the thing you regard as most important. For it will be by those small things that you shall be judged."

As your sense of positive pride grows through giving your best, you will increase self confidence and build your self esteem. You will begin to feel good about yourself and have more energy and passion to take on bigger things. We will never conquer low self esteem through analysis alone. Building self confidence is only possible by allowing success into our lives on an ever increasing basis.

Stuart Gardiner
www.7stepsup.com