Sometimes the seeds of change are sown in a small event, something that happens often and that goes unnoticed most of the time. This morning's lesson came from the insistent buzz of our dryer. Can you relate to this one?

I sat at my desk, working on answering an email. One of my housemates had put a load of clothes into the dryer, turning on the wrinkle guard. For those of you who don't have this feature on your dryer, it dries your clothes and then buzzes every 5 minutes until you remove your clothes. This buzz cycle goes on for around 45 minutes or so unless you open the dryer door. The buzzer on our dryer is unusually loud and jarringly raucous to me. I think the sound of it could wake a dead man located somewhere in China!

After turning the dryer on, my housemate left to have lunch and go shopping with a friend. At the first buzz of the dryer, I felt a flicker of annoyance but continued working. I began fuming with aggravation at the second jarring buzz, but I told myself to keep working and ignore it. By the third buzz, my annoyance had turned into frustrated anger and some choice words for my housemate's inconsiderate behavior. Finally, after the fourth buzz, I got up and went to turn off the dryer, grumbling about the rude insensitivity of my housemate and the wrinkle guard all the way. Needless to say, I was now in a bad mood and was completely distracted from my work.

I snagged a cup of coffee on my way back to my desk, and that is when it happened. A new way of seeing things entered my mind. I began to realize that though I was faced with an unpleasant situation, my choices compounded the situation and created more bad feelings toward my housemate. Was she inconsiderate in leaving the house with the dryer set like that? To me, she was. However, she might not have given the matter any thought. She may not even realize how annoying I would find this situation to be. More than that, how did I respond to the situation? I tried to ignore the dryer for a long time, hoping it would magically go away. Logically, that wasn't a realistic expectation since I know how wrinkle guard works. Because it continued to make noise, I then began to think badly about both my housemate and the company who makes our model of dryer. I let myself get into a grumpy mood, and I lost my focus on the email I was writing. So, assuming that my housemate was inconsiderate, did my response to the situation help me in any way? I would have to say no because I ended up prolonging the situation and feeding my angry feelings. I lost productive work time doing this, and I still ended up having to turn off the dryer.

How might I have handled this differently to solve problems like this one? What could I do next time to reduce my stress? I could ask her to turn off the wrinkle guard if she leaves while doing laundry. I could turn off the dryer after the first buzz. It would disrupt my work, but I'd probably be less frustrated and distracted. I could grab my laptop and work elsewhere. I could also look into the possibility of reducing the loudness of the buzzer since that would help our entire household and solve the problem in a long-term manner. None of us likes the loud buzzer we have, and I could come out being the hero in the situation. I could also choose to quit working and leave the house if I don't feel like turning off the dryer. This is a less appealing option, but I could do it if I wanted to.

So what about you? Are there little things in your life that bug you but that you have not addressed? Are you letting them grow because you want to pretend they'll just go away? If someone offered you a million dollars, could you change how you respond to the situation? Are there some simple things you could do to correct them or reduce their impact on you? If so, what can you gain by taking a minute or two to put your ideas into action? You may not get a million dollars for making the change. Isn't your time and peace of mind worth more than that? You're worth it, so go do it right now.

Monica Willyard
www.willyard.3stepsecret.com