We have all left conversations and thought “Wow, I don’t think that person knows one more thing about me, but I sure do know a lot about them!”? Walking away from those types of conversations leaves you feeling disconnected, alone and void of any desire to chat with them again any time soon.

On the flip side, a conversation where someone looks you in the eyes as you are talking and asks great questions that make you feel as though they have a genuine interest in you, makes you feel valued, acknowledged, and overall engaged in life. People who use these conversation skills are the kind of people that are sought out. Not because we like to talk about ourselves, but because they make it easy and enjoyable to converse.

So, how do you become a great conversationalist? How do you become a person someone seeks out? It is not hard, it just takes practice and determination and a willingness to put others above yourself..

Here are some tips………

1. Ask questions. The emphasis in a conversation should be learning more about the other person. Ask a question and “Listen” to the answer. Do not interrupt. Watch them light up as you show them someone cares and hears.

2. Pay attention to the agenda. Every conversation has one, be it personal or professional. You make small talk, hoping to meet someone new. What you say reflects your goal. But yours isn't the only agenda on the table. Those you interact with have their own goals. Listen carefully and you'll identify them. Then, and only then, can the real conversation begin.

3. Listen with your body. Turn your body toward the other person. Stand or sit in as a relaxed position as possible.

4. Use facial expressions to make them feel comfortable. As appropriate and as sincerely as possible, smile, tilt your head, look concerned, etc. In other words, don't stand there granite-faced. Matching the mood of others assures them that you hear what they're saying, verbally and emotionally.

5. Maintain good eye contact. Don't watch people walking by or check your watch. The other person will catch you and know you're not really listening. Take a break now and then so that your eyes do not bore into them, but stay focused.

Gail Wahl
http://www.homewithsoy.com