Rachel has a problem. For 3 ½ years, she has been dating a man who indulges in drugs and alcohol regularly and who is often unfaithful to their relationship. Why, you ask, would anyone put up with such behavior? To her, the answer is simple. To anyone else, it’s crazy.

She wants to stay with him because even though he has problems, he is security for her. He is the only man right now telling her he loves her and she needs that because she is lonely. She thinks that if she is patient with him, his behavior will change and he will leave his old life for her.

Her friends tell her she should get rid of him. She doesn’t want to. She feels she can wait for him to change because he keeps promising he will. He never does.

This story happens more often than we realize. In a culture where women are finding their wings and taking flight, we still have others who aren’t ready for independence. They put all their stock in another person or in a job and they end up with heartbreak. The security they are looking for isn’t there. The saddest part of this situation is it takes a long time for these women to come to grips with the truth: they have low self-esteem.

Everyone experiences low self-esteem at one time or another, but these women experience it more often than not. They constantly tell themselves that they aren’t worth it. They are unhappy and think that someone else or something else will make them happy. What a woman with low self-esteem doesn’t realize is that she is the only person who can make herself happy.

How does a woman make herself happy? By doing what she loves to do. By surrounding herself with people who treat her respectfully. By living in an environment she loves. By realizing she has control over her happiness. When a woman knows how to control her happiness she releases her low self-esteem. It’s truly that simple.

Rachel is stuck in a self-indulged fantasy. As long as her “boyfriend” is allowed to continue with this behavior, he will. She can only see that they are together and that is what is important to her. That excuse is the lure of the low self-esteem. It’s not important that he shows her respect because she doesn’t believe she deserves it.

If you find yourself or a friend in an unhappy situation, look at all of the possibilities. Low self-esteem can be released. Nobody deserves to be treated badly.

Wendi Moore
www.wendimoore.com