I started experimenting with affirmations years ago. Somewhere, in a dusty corner of my closet, is an affirmation tape, and maybe even a book or two. From these, I learned how to change the internal self-dialogue that goes on inside my head. If you listen closely, you will find it goes on inside your head as well. Every time you fail at something, listen to what you tell yourself. Is it, "I've always been bad at that, no wonder I can't do it," or is it, "Okay, I didn't succeed this time, but I will try again until I do." Maybe it's somewhere in between. Many people need improvement on what experts coin as "self-talk," that is, the talking inside of our head. If you don't think you can change how you think, I'm here to tell you, you're wrong. Anyone can do it. It simply requires determination and practice. Do you really want to break out of the negative cycle, or are you so accustomed to being miserable that you're afraid to try? If you have the slightest desire to change, read on, if you don't you'll just think this article is filled with nonsense, so you might as well stop reading now.

The first step to changing those innermost thoughts requires you to monitor what it is you say to yourself. When you look at yourself in the mirror, how do you respond? Write it down. When you make a mistake at home or work, what do you say? Write it down. Listen to yourself for about a week. Are your words positive or negative? Are they encouraging or discouraging? Do they motivate you or shut you down? Quite possibly you have a bit of both. It's nearly impossible to stay positive 100% of the time. Everyone falters from time to time. The trick is, to retrain the mind to react in a positive manner as often as possible.

So, you're probably wondering how to do that. To accomplish this takes some simple practice and discovering exactly what you say to yourself. I've always found that one of the best times to practice is as I was laying in bed, trying to wind down from the day. I learned to meditate years ago, so I incorporated some simple breathing techniques into a routine that relaxed me, then I would say my affirmations (positive statements), and finally drift off into a peaceful sleep. I also learned the power of saying affirmations three different ways. Take the simple affirmation, "I am pretty." Now say it as, "You are pretty." Finally say it as, "She is pretty." It's three different points of view, all of which reinforce each other. To truly change your way of thinking, you must continually practice saying these positive statements to yourself. At first, you won't believe them, you may even laugh as you try to say them. That's okay. In time you will begin to believe, the trick is to keep saying them to yourself until they have replaced the negative thoughts. Thousands of affirmations exist and below I have listed just a few to get you started. Any trait you wish to posses can be made into an affirmation. Don't forget to say each one as an "I" statement, a "you" statement and a "s/he" statement.

Self-Image

*I am pretty.
*I am smart.
*I am honest.
*I am trustworthy.
*I am loving.
*I am creative.
*I am talented.
*I am generous.
*I am happy.
*I am understanding.
*I am confident.
*I am loyal.
*I am strong.
*I am energetic.
*I am forgiving.
*I am competent.

Success

*I am successful.
*I take risks.
*I achieve my goals.
*I work hard.
*I am a problem solver.
*I will get that job/promotion.
*I am attentive to the task at hand.

Breaking Bad Habits or Self-Improvement

*I will stop smoking.
*I will stop over-eating.
*I will exercise more.
*I will control my temper.
*I will improve every day.
*I will listen more.
*I will become less judgmental.
*I will let go of past failures.

Relaxation

*I am relaxed.
*I am calm.
*I am at peace with myself.
*I am at peace with others.
*I am living without stress.

As I mentioned, I found the best time for me was at night. You may find that the best time for you to practice is first thing in the morning. You can repeat them to yourself while you are in the shower, or eating breakfast, or driving to work. It also can be helpful to write them out, especially if you have a couple of areas that need specific and immediate attention. Jot them down on sticky notes or note cards and place them on the nightstand to read each morning when you rise and each evening before bed. Tape them to mirrors, the inside of the cabinet doors, the dashboard of your car, inside your daily planner/organizer or in books that you read. The more you say them, the more you will believe them. Soon you will find that those old negative comments have disappeared and new positive ones have become habit. Whatever you do, don't give up. Change is hard work, but you can do it! How do I know, because I did it!

Terry J. Coyier
http://terryjroo.writing.com/