One of the symptoms of low self-esteem is to feel alienated and lonely from other people. Where do these feelings come from? . They come from the belief that everyone else seems to be better than you in some way and because of that they will reject you.

When I was a child I felt that I was always judged and compared all the time. I kept asking myself “what is wrong with me?” which led me to the conclusion: “I am not good enough”.

I remember when I was 11; I was at my cousin’s house trying to have a good time in the swimming pool sitting on a round life belt enjoying the sun. All of the sudden I tried to get out of it and I couldn’t because I was stuck somehow. My cousins were looking at me and laughing, “hey, you look like whale, I think you have to start to loose some weight”. Can you just picture this eleven-year-old girl confronting this situation? For many years after that I made sure not to sit again on a life belt to enjoy the sun.

When we feel this fear of rejection we tend to think that:

People will not accept us for who we are
We stop ourselves for doing things or saying something
We start to loose our identity by acting, dressing, talking and imitating people who we admire
We are unable to say “no”
How we feel about ourselves is determined by what other say or feel about us

Through my own experience I have learned some ways to overcome this fear that I would like to share with you:

Do not take things personally
Try to define yourself not depending upon what other people think. For example, If you define yourself as a person who likes to help other people, do not worry about other’s people reactions when you are helping them
Try to feel comfortable being uncomfortable. If you are rejected, take it as a challenge and learn to accept this situation.
Use your sense of humor

What do you think is better? To keep this fear? Or to start allowing ourselves to take risks and live the life we deserve to live?

Rejection is a word, fear of a rejection is a feeling, overcoming fear of rejection is an action, and actions speak louder then words. Unknown

Carla's professional background includes 15 years working as a Software Developer and Technical Writer with import-export and manufacture companies. Her passion about self-esteem issues had leaded her to write about her personal experiences.

Carla Valencia