If you are finding it difficult to raise your self-esteem, there is only one possible reason. The reason is that you don't want to get a higher self-esteem enough. This may sound strange to you because you might believe that youwant to raise your self-esteem although your actions show that this is not the case. It may be true that you really want a higher self-esteem at the same time as your desire to stay with a low self-esteem is even greater.

What would be the negative consequences if you did manage to raise your self-esteem? "What a stupid question!" you may think. "Of course my life would be much better if I had a higher self-esteem!". I agree that your life would get better if you raised your self-esteem, BUT there are negative consequences of having a high self-esteem as well. For example, low self-esteem can be a shield behind which you can hide. Low self-esteem is a great excuse for not doing all the scary things that you are too afraid to do, such as asking for a promotion, publishing a book or breaking up with your partner. Raising your self-esteem might mean that you will have to start to take more responsibility over your life and start living life to the fullest. Sitting at home with your cat in the sofa watching TV every evening is very safe. If you had a high self-esteem it might mean that you would have to start to doing something more important AND more scary. If you had higher self-esteem, maybe people would start to expect you to do things that they do not expect now. Maybe you would start to expect more yourself.

It is human nature to fear the unknown and for this reason people resist changes, even changes within themselves. You know who you are now, and although you may not like being the person you are, it is at least very safe. You know how you will react in different situations and how others will treat you. You don't know how a new you with a higher self-esteem would react or how others would treat that person, and you don't know if you would be able to cope with all these new situations that you would get into. Continuing to be the person you are now is the most safe way to go.

It is impossible for a person to gain a higher self-esteem if his or her fear of change is higher than the desire for the benefits of high self-esteem. Most people who struggle with raising their self-esteem without getting anywhere are not aware that they have this fear. It works on a much deeper level. The solution is to identify the fear and decrease it until it is smaller than the desire for a higher self-esteem. Identify exactly what it is that you are afraid would happen if you had a higher self-esteem. Once you have figured out exactly what it is that is holding you back (and this may be more than one thing), think of ways in which you could handle it. Both by simply identifying the fear and by learning that you would be able to cope with it will decrease your fear.

As soon as your desire for self-esteem is greater than your fear of self-esteem, you will get it.

More about how to raise your self-esteem - http://www.livmiyagawa.com/

Liv Miyagawa, The Self-Esteem Coach, helps people all over the world to raise their self-esteem and to reach their personal goals. She opens people's eyes to their own strengths and helps them to figure out what it really is that they want to get out of life. Liv helps people to find out exactly what steps they need to take to reach their goals, and she supports them and motivates them on their journey towards a more fulfilling future. www.livmiyagawa.com.