If you were born to parents who had healthy levels of self-esteem and who treated you respectfully, congratulations. This article is not for you. This is for those who don't feel good about themselves and want to change that.

One of the most helpful things you can do is to find out how people with high self-esteem act and then imitate them. That's right. Fake it 'til you make it. It is much easier to change the way you behave than it is to change the way you feel. By acting in ways associated with high self-esteem you will make yourself seem as though you had self-esteem. Others will notice the difference and begin treating you differently. The positive regard of others is one of our most important sources of self-esteem. Before you know it, you will begin to like yourself more and treat yourself better. Voila! Higher self-esteem.

You will find that others respect and enjoy people with high self-esteem and, if you're a good enough actor, they'll never know the difference. They'll think you were born with it! But you can't be over the top. This takes a little subtlety.

So, how do people with high self-esteem act? They try to do what's right, for one thing. It's hard to have a healthy self-concept if you're violating your own moral principles. They do things that make them feel good. This could be anything from buying yourself a chocolate milkshake to helping someone less fortunate. Whatever you do, enjoy it! Look for and relish all the goodness that there is in life and in yourself and in others. They give themselves credit for the things they do and they usually don't mind telling others about their accomplishments. (Don't over-do this one. A little self-praise goes a long way)! They don't judge themselves harshly but regard mistakes as something to learn from. Treating yourself unkindly is a dead givaway that you don't like yourself very much. Others will take a cue from you and assume that you are correct about yourself, i.e. not worthy. They don't let others take advantage of them. They stand up for their rights and what they believe. People with self-esteem are assertive, not aggressive. Aggressiveness is more common with those who are more insecure. They try to make up for it by being bullies.

They take responsibility for their own lives but not for those of others. You have to know and respect your limits. But you will take it right to the limit. People who like themselves usually display a bit of courage and will take a calculated risk. Try doing these things and you will find your self-esteem increasing by the hour.

Dr. Hugh R. Leavell is a Marriage and Family Therapist in northern Palm Beach County, FL. He is available for sessions in person, by phone or online. Check his website at http://DrHughLeavell.com.