It's the practice of trying to salvage a gain from a loss that just keeps losing. And there's no gain to be had in doing that.

Yet, this is something we do when we feel we absolutely must respond to unfair or unintelligent criticism.

Let's say you take a position on an issue, or create anything that comes into public view. Someone savages it with acrimonious negativity. For a moment, the breath is knocked out of you.

Then the adrenalin courses through your veins and you're preparing to fight back. A plethora of great counterattacks comes to mind. You reach for the phone or for the keyboard to transmit your reply.

It's eloquent and even brilliant, and the sting of it goes well beyond the mere pinprick that your detractor issued.

Do you let the call go through? Do you boldly press the SEND button?

That's what I used to do, until recently, when I hesitated long enough to reconsider. And here's what I realized after showing restraint:

(1) Responding would have elongated an already unpleasant process. I would have expected and prepared myself to respond to a counter-counterattack.

(2) I was wasting my time in the arena from which the criticism came. It reminds me of the expression: "In shallow waters, dragons are the sport of shrimp."

(3) Because the source of negativity was suspect, I was doubly disturbed by the feedback. What was I doing courting the attention of nonconstructive people? This was a signal telling me I need to aim higher.

(4) You can never get enough of what you truly do not want. Praise from the sidelines is meaningless, no matter how continuous.

(5) Dynamic antagonisms, feuds, ongoing spats, and point-counterpoint games of "tag," are really vortices that promote procrastination. We succumb to their gravitational pull as we would to black holes because we're secretly seeking an excuse to avoid getting on with really important business.

I just reread point (5), and it seems particularly apt.

When you find yourself distracted by some tempest in a teapot, by a petty tyrant who seems to be commandeering your attention, skewing your emotions, ask yourself this question:

"What more meaningful activities am I putting off?"

I assure you, you'll identify at least one, if not several.

And by resolving to deal with them, you'll be on your way to learning how to make a profit from your losses.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman is a top speaker, sales, customer service and negotiation consultant, attorney, TV and radio commentator and the best-selling author of 12 books. He conducts seminars and speaks at convention programs around the world. He can be reached at gary(at)customersatisfaction.com.