Do you ever find yourself walking around, running an inner commentary on what other people are doing or what they look like?

"What does he think he looks like in those trousers?!"

"Didn't she get time to do her make-up this morning?"

"Duh, you got that one wrong again!"

You might even find yourself using a humorous voice to say these things to yourself and perhaps chuckling as you do it. It seems pretty harmless, after all, we're not actually saying it out loud so the other person can hear, are we?

And we all do it, don't we?!

So what's the problem with this underlying commentary of little judgements and criticisms?

Well, it's something that goes on in our minds without us even realising it, so it's literally going unfiltered into our unconscious mind. The problem is that the unconscious mind doesn't realise that you're talking about someone else. All it picks up is the message - you're not good enough.

If you're spending your time going round looking for the bad in others, that's what you'll see. And even if you're not consciously doing it, if you're running this type of inner dialogue, the chances that you're letting yourself get away with anything are zero. At some level, you're probably beating yourself up big time.

You see, you're training your brain, day by day, to look for what's wrong and criticise it. So, you'll be doing that to yourself, as well.

Let's test it out.

Think back to something you did recently where you made a mistake or felt guilty or embarrassed.
Notice what kind of pictures come up in your head. Are they sunny and colourful or dark and grey?
How about the soundtrack that's running: is there any commentary? What is it saying?

If you run around passing judgement on others the whole time, chances are you're passing judgement on yourself too - even if you're in denial about it.

The thing is:

... one of the essential parts of being happy is accepting yourself for who you are and loving yourself for the person you are today.

That's completely impossible if you're constantly in judgement mode. So, to feel happy, you have to accept others for who they are, too.

It doesn't mean you suddenly have to like the way they are - just stop criticising or trying to change them.

If you want to play with this, just mentally decide to turn on your "judgement radar". Every time you notice yourself making a comment about someone or something outside of yourself, stop yourself. Take a deep breath in and out. And move on.

It's that simple.

It's not even about "replacing" the thoughts. Simply let them go. Eventually they'll stop coming and then think how good you're going to feel!

And once you've had a play with these ideas, if you'd like to find out how to feel even happier, make sure you claim your copy of 5 Secrets To Feeling Happier Now by visiting http://www.howtofeelhappier.com/blog

From Clare Josa, author, seminar leader, expert coach and Chief Happiness Experimenter at How To Feel Happier.