Have you ever lost your cool and did something you later regretted? How about feel so sad that you could barely move throughout your day? Have you ever been so stressed out that your felt torn in a million different directions and didn't know what to do first? The fact is that we are a society filled with unhappy, depressed, stressed out and angry people. Granted, it is perfectly understandable with the many demands made upon people today, but it isn't healthy and it doesn't feel good. That's where cognitive restructuring comes in.

Cognitive restructuring is just another way to say thinking different. In this case it also means thinking better, happier, more positive. Cognitive restructuring is a technique that some counselors and psychologists use to help people cope with depression, anger, and anxiety. It works by teaching the person to analyze and challenge the thoughts they have instead of just acting on them. For example, instead of thinking that the person who just cut you off on the road is just a jerk who doesn't care about anyone but themselves, you realize that maybe they are rushing home to a sick child, or are really late for an important meeting. In order words, give the other person the benefit of the doubt. All of us at some point or another have been in a rush or didn't see someone on the road and ended up cutting him or her off. By stepping back and looking more closely at the situation, you give yourself a chance to calm down before your anger gets out of control.

Cognitive restructuring is also used with patients struggling with depression. Frequently, depressed people feel that everything in their lives is bad and they are worthless themselves. Cognitive restructuring teaches them to challenge this thinking and take a closer look at the true situation. Eventually, the depressed individual will realize that things are in no way as bad as they thought they were and in fact, are actually pretty good. A technique called 'reframing' is used to turn the negative sentences that run through they heads into positive statements. For example, some who is depressed may think, "I will never be happy because I can't ride a bike". Reframing teaches that person to turn that statement around into "I want to learn how to ride a bike."

When used to treat anxiety in patients, cognitive restructuring can help eliminate the negative dialogue that runs through the mind of the socially phobic. Again, the patient is taught to challenge the negative thoughts and look at them under a microscope. "Everyone is looking at me and I'm sure to make a fool of myself", turns into the more realistic thought "I'm here to meet people and have a good time and I will."

I don't mean to make it sound like cognitive restructuring is quick or easy. It takes time to learn the techniques and even more time to get used to using it. Negative thoughts and feelings can be very powerful and are hard habits to break. However, if you commit to challenging your negative thought processes, and turning your negative statements (even those just inside your head) into positive affirmations, with practice you can get rid of the depression, anger and/or anxiety that currently plagues your life.

For more information on cognitive restructuring and anger management, visit http://www.squidoo.com/cognitiverestructuring/

Jennifer Carpenter is a work at home mother of three, two teens and a preschooler. She is a writer and Internet marketer who is currently working towards financial freedom through working online. Read more about her incredible journey at http://www.livingmybigdream.com