pusanteacher
- 2004-09-23
> i love him very much, but he doesn't love me. I don't know hot to
> forget him. Can anybody give me any advice? How can I forget him,
> how????????
This cannot be the ending, on you I'm depending,
This eternal love's in my heart, We just can't be apart,
I'm gonna hold on forever, blah blah blah
Find somebody new.
Natasha
- 2004-09-23
i love him very much, but he doesn't love me. I don't know hot to forget him. Can anybody give me any advice? How can I forget him, how????????
perceived as having low self esteem?
- 2004-09-21
You don't know me, so why do you assume that its an excuse for me to feel better about myself (presumably for having been rejected)? Or are you actually saying that most Japanese women are NOT racist? And who said I am only interested in one night stands?
Let me get this straight: if you're negative about romance then it must mean that you've failed at it. That makes you a "loser" and losers are not allowed to voice criticism because? Yes, it seems like I'm implicitly being told that I am wrong to conclude that Japanese women are often racist. Or am I simply wrong for mentioning it? If its true, why should I not discuss it? And why, when it is discussed, is the focus immediately shifted to blaming the male for not being self-confident?
Are you in denial about Japanese women and their racism? Why?? And as I mentioned in my last post, my romantic abilities or lack thereof don't change the reality about Japanese women. So why is it so inconceivable that an otherwise romantically successful male would bring up Japanese racism? Anyway, I wasn't posting about myself (obviously). But if you think I need the advice of being self-confident, then thanks,I guess (??).
> grim reality,
> Just want to address one thing in your message.
> You're saying "Japanese women are usually quite racist and will
> only entertain love interest from caucasians".
> I think this is a self-excuse to make you feel better. Any woman that
> likes a man for only physical appearance or a mercedez bens, is not
> worth one night-stand. I agree apperances help sometimes with the
> initial contact. Asian women and Japanese in particular like a man
> with lots of Self Confidence. btw, consider changing the grim with a
> "Happy reality".
> Good luck.
grim reality
- 2004-09-21
Thanks for the suggestions but I already knew that women everywhere like self confidence. That wasn't my point and it doesn't change the fact that most Japanese women are as I described them. As for self-excuses to make myself feel better, you can label me as a "loser" or as suspiciously negative and therefore generally unattractive if you want, but again, it won't change Japanese women's strong preference for white men. Happy Reality??? Sorry, but I don't have the privilege of putting on rose coloured glasses. I am happy quite often though: when I'm with people who don't make me have to compensate for not being white (duh).
> grim reality,
> Just want to address one thing in your message.
> You're saying "Japanese women are usually quite racist and will
> only entertain love interest from caucasians".
> I think this is a self-excuse to make you feel better. Any woman that
> likes a man for only physical appearance or a mercedez bens, is not
> worth one night-stand. I agree apperances help sometimes with the
> initial contact. Asian women and Japanese in particular like a man
> with lots of Self Confidence. btw, consider changing the grim with a
> "Happy reality".
> Good luck.
kato
- 2004-09-20
> Hey AJL: I am really glad you had the courage to voice your
> observations on a subject that many either have the privilege to
> ignore or choose to put their heads in the sand over.
> As always, a critical analysis that doesn't have a positive spin gets
> a whole bunch of positive anecdotes to counter the unpleasant reality
> of your observations. Like you, I am truly happy for all the
> foreigners (and I gather they are all caucasian) who found love and
> acceptance in Asian countries. HOWEVER, let's not fib to ourselves or
> anyone else. These anecdotes a) are all from caucasians? b) probably
> represent a small minority of most experiences. I hope I am wrong.
> Sadly, I have seen your observations demonstrated much more often
> than refuted.
> I can say for certain that Japanese society is seriously racist. I
> can also say that Koreans are almost never in a mixed relationship.
> And I know that the old generation at least in China, has openly
> espoused racial hierarchies as part of their world view. Let's hope
> Taiwan is more modern. But even if they are, all that will probably
> mean is that they'll be eager to date a caucasian.
> And, no, I am not caucasian. Like AJL I am of mixed race, from
> Canada. Its a serious problem everywhere so I was pleasantly
> surprised to read the female post, however unusual it may be. Let's
> hope it becomes the normative standard because unless the whole idea
> of race is put aside and a global "race" emerges, I don't
> see how race wars can be avoided. But thats not the focus of this
> forum, I know.
> I hope everyone can digest this reality in a way that will help to
> bring people together and support happy experiences for ESL teachers.
> I'm going to teach in Taiwan in 2005 and I look forward to it.
grim reality,
Just want to address one thing in your message.
You're saying "Japanese women are usually quite racist and will only entertain love interest from caucasians".
I think this is a self-excuse to make you feel better. Any woman that likes a man for only physical appearance or a mercedez bens, is not worth one night-stand. I agree apperances help sometimes with the initial contact. Asian women and Japanese in particular like a man with lots of Self Confidence. btw, consider changing the grim with a "Happy reality".
Good luck.
confront grim reality to change it
- 2004-09-19
Hey AJL: I am really glad you had the courage to voice your observations on a subject that many either have the privilege to ignore or choose to put their heads in the sand over.
As always, a critical analysis that doesn't have a positive spin gets a whole bunch of positive anecdotes to counter the unpleasant reality of your observations. Like you, I am truly happy for all the foreigners (and I gather they are all caucasian) who found love and acceptance in Asian countries. HOWEVER, let's not fib to ourselves or anyone else. These anecdotes a) are all from caucasians? b) probably represent a small minority of most experiences. I hope I am wrong. Sadly, I have seen your observations demonstrated much more often than refuted.
I can say for certain that Japanese society is seriously racist. I can also say that Koreans are almost never in a mixed relationship. And I know that the old generation at least in China, has openly espoused racial hierarchies as part of their world view. Let's hope Taiwan is more modern. But even if they are, all that will probably mean is that they'll be eager to date a caucasian.
And, no, I am not caucasian. Like AJL I am of mixed race, from Canada. Its a serious problem everywhere so I was pleasantly surprised to read the female post, however unusual it may be. Let's hope it becomes the normative standard because unless the whole idea of race is put aside and a global "race" emerges, I don't see how race wars can be avoided. But thats not the focus of this forum, I know.
I hope everyone can digest this reality in a way that will help to bring people together and support happy experiences for ESL teachers. I'm going to teach in Taiwan in 2005 and I look forward to it.
> thanks for your input. I guess it just hits me when I hear this kind
> of stuff, that racism is not just an old fashioned black-white thing.
> I mean I know it does exist, of course. But, in my family &
> community, no one would ever think these crazy things. In fact we
> always thought it would be the coolest if we got married to someone
> with another cultural background so we could each learn new things. I
> never really totally got it, that this way of thinking is not old
> fashioned.
> I can see from generation-to generation here in China, it has
> changed. Many younger people are more easily able to accept my
> realtionship here.
> I hope it continues to change, for the better of all of us, local
> & foreign living in China.
> About how the Chinese people that are on this forum probably wont get
> involoved in this conversation...Someone told me of a chinese saying
> that says how if you say some thing 3 times, it makes it true.
> (sorry, I know not as poetic as the real translation should be.) I
> gather that also means if you dont talk about something...is makes it
> not true.
> Also, totally agree with your final comment:
> That is it really. If we make it together or not is completely
> dependant on this fact.
Indonesian
- 2004-09-07
> As always, if anyone has noticed, no asian people in this forum will
> ever touch on this kind of subject.
> why?
> because they know what i'm saying is the truth.
> ...and they can't defend this.
> i'm not a white face, and this fact speeded up my ability to learn
> about these noted societies...as well as the one i'm from.
It's interesting.
It's all about culture & point of view or perspective. Don't judge any other cultures, you may change through your life (if you involve within). Social way of thinking is not that simple. It needs long time to share western perspective to the eastern (vice versa). Remember that every culture has their own widom & weakness or strenght. Be humble to everyone that is the JAvanese Key word. And this will work to be in almost everywhere.
AJL
- 2004-09-06
it's great that it worked out for you and your wife! :)
> I have dated both in South Korea and in China. This was (of course)
> before finding the love of my life in China. After dating for a year,
> we got married and are now int he second year of that marriage as TWO
> foreigners living in South Korea. What you say here does happen, but
> it is not really as big a problem as it is made out to be.
me
- 2004-09-06
> Dating and relationships not only in China but perhaps S. Korea and
> Japan...
> First off, these countries haven't much diversity in their long
> cultures.
> Basically, one people nations with one people ideologies. FACT.
> The local people really haven't had many opportunities to relate to
> people outside of their communities, much yet foreigners.
> Locals (country or city) are almost immediately suspicious when
> seeing any foreigner and one of their own sharing common activities
> together in public.
> Really most people would prefer to see foreigners as 24 hour round
> the clock English teachers / tourists = alone in the host country.
> Many prefer to be friends with a foreigner small groups...this
> reduces any public suspicion and clearly shows that the relationship
> is a platonic one.
> I've talked to foreigners who admitted the problems faced in
> relationships.
> (don't worry, i've had some experience of my own too.)
> From suspicion, to parents kindly giving money to the foreigner to
> stay away from their daughter, or total strangers in public, walking
> right up to the girl, and yelling at her about what a traitor to her
> own country people they think she is...the list goes on.
> If such societies had some degree of diversity, then maybe the people
> might have more relaxed attitudes towards this subject.
> Diversity in western countries, escpecially the USA, are developed
> but far from perfect.
> As you know a black and white relationship can still receive some
> amount of suspicion or disapproval. (i've lived this one.)
> Some people are fighting for same sex marriage laws to be passed, gay
> and lesbian rights, transgendered issues and rights.
> Yes, the USA certainly has ethnic and cultural diversity in it's
> borders, but the machine is far perfect.
> China, S. Korea and Japan haven't even come this far.
> i don't feel that dating and relationships in these societies are
> ever quite so natural or enjoyable for both people, unless they
> really have had the chance to really get to know each other.
> With language differences, i wonder how this is even possible.
> I believe that only a small percentage of fortunate people are
> enjoying such relationships. "Cheers to them! :)
> They have to have very thick skins, patience and a true commitment to
> each other.
> Even simple casual dating in these societies usually brings on
> suspicion from the locals.
> Going out for dinner or a drink, brings on some stares, and maybe
> even closed opinions.
> all this brings on a heavy social burden on both people involved.
> Some of the foreigners might be the scum of the earth, and some might
> be decent people.
> Some might be considered very good looking, or have charming
> personalites, and the locals might even ask these foreigners if they
> are married or not, or mislead some into thinking they should have
> girlfriends in their country.
> In China, when someone asks a foreigner if they have a girfriend, and
> that they should get one, it really doesn't mean anything at all.
> It's almost the same as asking someone if they have eaten today or
> not.
> The society has taught people to say many things that they just don't
> mean at all. Yes...it's two-faced, but don't worry because just about
> every society in the world has it's hipocrasy.
I have dated both in South Korea and in China. This was (of course) before finding the love of my life in China. After dating for a year, we got married and are now int he second year of that marriage as TWO foreigners living in South Korea. What you say here does happen, but it is not really as big a problem as it is made out to be.
female
- 2004-09-05
thanks for your input. I guess it just hits me when I hear this kind of stuff, that racism is not just an old fashioned black-white thing. I mean I know it does exist, of course. But, in my family & community, no one would ever think these crazy things. In fact we always thought it would be the coolest if we got married to someone with another cultural background so we could each learn new things. I never really totally got it, that this way of thinking is not old fashioned.
I can see from generation-to generation here in China, it has changed. Many younger people are more easily able to accept my realtionship here.
I hope it continues to change, for the better of all of us, local & foreign living in China.
About how the Chinese people that are on this forum probably wont get involoved in this conversation...Someone told me of a chinese saying that says how if you say some thing 3 times, it makes it true. (sorry, I know not as poetic as the real translation should be.) I gather that also means if you dont talk about something...is makes it not true.
Also, totally agree with your final comment:
> i guess the important thing is how each other feels for one another.
That is it really. If we make it together or not is completely dependant on this fact.
> well...i'm very glad to hear that some of the relationships DO indeed
> work out with few problems.
> ...although my real concern is the orientation of most of the said
> problems faced in such international relationships.
> it's the result of a serious lack of diversity in some societies,
> faced with interaction with those from societies with a little more
> diversity in their hearts and minds.
> i'm all for cultural, ethnic diversity and mixed relationships.
> but i know in this world, many have harder lined concepts of life.
> ...including the USA...a very hard lined nation to say the less.
> you know i'm mixed race myself and i do know that people in the asian
> countries noted, do share these strange prejudice's that children and
> adults of such backgrounds are somehow lesser, unless they prove
> themselves otherwise.
> so they believe that a mixed child will suffer in society.
> they also fear chilldren of single parent homes will be targets of
> ridicule.
> not to get too personal on a forum, but my mixed ethnicity leans
> towards the african-american-caucasian-native-american side.
> ...a very known fact in the american social history is this kind of
> ethnic mixure.
> most americans if broad minded and truthful, clearly understand this
> mixture, due to the historical development of the USA.
> as noted:
> what people in asia don't realize is just how "real" this
> culture of american ethnic diversity really is.
> their tunnel vision of american people only being blonde haired blue
> eyed people is so obvious.
> more times than few, they really fail to realize "who" the
> real americans are.
> we are already branded with being less educated and poor, while other
> mentioned are rich and well educated.
> if most caucasian people in asian countries are viewed in a better
> light, then maybe the society has a little more relaxed acceptance
> about such foreigners dating the locals.
> i'm not sure.
> but if the people already have some negative stereotypes about some
> people, who they only learned this by hear-say, then their opinions
> are almost set in stone.
> ...to make this long story short.
> i guess the important thing is how each other feels for one another.
AJL
- 2004-09-05
well...i'm very glad to hear that some of the relationships DO indeed work out with few problems.
...although my real concern is the orientation of most of the said problems faced in such international relationships.
it's the result of a serious lack of diversity in some societies, faced with interaction with those from societies with a little more diversity in their hearts and minds.
i'm all for cultural, ethnic diversity and mixed relationships.
but i know in this world, many have harder lined concepts of life.
...including the USA...a very hard lined nation to say the less.
you know i'm mixed race myself and i do know that people in the asian countries noted, do share these strange prejudice's that children and adults of such backgrounds are somehow lesser, unless they prove themselves otherwise.
so they believe that a mixed child will suffer in society.
they also fear chilldren of single parent homes will be targets of ridicule.
not to get too personal on a forum, but my mixed ethnicity leans towards the african-american-caucasian-native-american side.
...a very known fact in the american social history is this kind of ethnic mixure.
most americans if broad minded and truthful, clearly understand this mixture, due to the historical development of the USA.
as noted:
>>>Someone even said if we had a child together
> it wouldnt be healthy because of the mixed race.<<<
what people in asia don't realize is just how "real" this culture of american ethnic diversity really is.
their tunnel vision of american people only being blonde haired blue eyed people is so obvious.
more times than few, they really fail to realize "who" the real americans are.
we are already branded with being less educated and poor, while other mentioned are rich and well educated.
if most caucasian people in asian countries are viewed in a better light, then maybe the society has a little more relaxed acceptance about such foreigners dating the locals.
i'm not sure.
but if the people already have some negative stereotypes about some people, who they only learned this by hear-say, then their opinions are almost set in stone.
...to make this long story short.
i guess the important thing is how each other feels for one another.
AJL
- 2004-09-05
As always, if anyone has noticed, no asian people in this forum will ever touch on this kind of subject.
why?
because they know what i'm saying is the truth.
...and they can't defend this.
i'm not a white face, and this fact speeded up my ability to learn about these noted societies...as well as the one i'm from.
> Dating and relationships not only in China but perhaps S. Korea and
female
- 2004-09-05
Have any of you fairer sex any tales to tell in
> this area?
I have been with my Chinese "boyfriend" for abt 2 years. There are some of the same problems, but since we don't live in a small village, we don't have really SERIOUS problems.
I mean there is the usual staring & pointing. (but that happens when I am alone) He has been asked several times if he is my translater. His family still calls me "teacher", as if its not necessary for me to have a name because that would somehow be admitting I am actually involved in a serious relationship with their son. There have been comments about possible problems in the bedroom since he is shorter then me. HA HA HA! Many of his friends have warned him of how sex-crazed us foreign women are & how we want it all the time. HA HA! Someone even said if we had a child together it wouldnt be healthy because of the mixed race.
BUT for the most part we are accepted. People in this city in China do seem to be judgemental, but they do get past any bad first impressions rather quickly when they get to know you. At least the people that dont approve, mostly talk about it behind our backs. And many people "say" good things about it too.
I would have to say most of the problems we face are between us. Our own hang ups/concerns, previous bad experiences in relationships. But I guess that would be the same in the US, or anywhere. Communicating with regards to personal feelings can be tricky, because now you have to state exactly what you are thinking. It can get pretty embarrassing at times, but if you love each other you can handle that.
I can't comment on if it will last forever, or develop into marriage or anything, but taking it one day at a time, as you would in any relationship.
> I can't speak for SK or Japan, but I do think you are overstating the
> case quite considerably.
> I *do* ackowledge that there are some problems (on the Chinese side
> mainly) when dating or having a relationship, but I or my Chinese gf
> of two years have never had any of the serious problems as you
> describe.
> Yes, there are some (mainly older) Chinese who disaprove, but I have
> know a fair few lao wai have relations and none of these have had any
> serious impediment.
> I did once have an old Chinese come up to my girlfriend and tell her
> that unless she was going to marry me then she shouldn't be holding
> my hand (!), but usually the locals (especially city folk) don't have
> any big problems.
> I am not saying that 100% are okay with it mind!!!
> As an aside, all these relations have been with a male foreigner and
> a female Chinese. Have any of you fairer sex any tales to tell in
> this area?
DOS
- 2004-09-05
I can't speak for SK or Japan, but I do think you are overstating the case quite considerably.
I *do* ackowledge that there are some problems (on the Chinese side mainly) when dating or having a relationship, but I or my Chinese gf of two years have never had any of the serious problems as you describe.
Yes, there are some (mainly older) Chinese who disaprove, but I have know a fair few lao wai have relations and none of these have had any serious impediment.
I did once have an old Chinese come up to my girlfriend and tell her that unless she was going to marry me then she shouldn't be holding my hand (!), but usually the locals (especially city folk) don't have any big problems.
I am not saying that 100% are okay with it mind!!!
As an aside, all these relations have been with a male foreigner and a female Chinese. Have any of you fairer sex any tales to tell in this area?
> Dating and relationships not only in China but perhaps S. Korea and
> Japan...
> First off, these countries haven't much diversity in their long
> cultures.
> Basically, one people nations with one people ideologies. FACT.
> The local people really haven't had many opportunities to relate to
> people outside of their communities, much yet foreigners.
> Locals (country or city) are almost immediately suspicious when
> seeing any foreigner and one of their own sharing common activities
> together in public.
> Really most people would prefer to see foreigners as 24 hour round
> the clock English teachers / tourists = alone in the host country.
> Many prefer to be friends with a foreigner small groups...this
> reduces any public suspicion and clearly shows that the relationship
> is a platonic one.
> I've talked to foreigners who admitted the problems faced in
> relationships.
> (don't worry, i've had some experience of my own too.)
> From suspicion, to parents kindly giving money to the foreigner to
> stay away from their daughter, or total strangers in public, walking
> right up to the girl, and yelling at her about what a traitor to her
> own country people they think she is...the list goes on.
> If such societies had some degree of diversity, then maybe the people
> might have more relaxed attitudes towards this subject.
> Diversity in western countries, escpecially the USA, are developed
> but far from perfect.
> As you know a black and white relationship can still receive some
> amount of suspicion or disapproval. (i've lived this one.)
> Some people are fighting for same sex marriage laws to be passed, gay
> and lesbian rights, transgendered issues and rights.
> Yes, the USA certainly has ethnic and cultural diversity in it's
> borders, but the machine is far perfect.
> China, S. Korea and Japan haven't even come this far.
> i don't feel that dating and relationships in these societies are
> ever quite so natural or enjoyable for both people, unless they
> really have had the chance to really get to know each other.
> With language differences, i wonder how this is even possible.
> I believe that only a small percentage of fortunate people are
> enjoying such relationships. "Cheers to them! :)
> They have to have very thick skins, patience and a true commitment to
> each other.
> Even simple casual dating in these societies usually brings on
> suspicion from the locals.
> Going out for dinner or a drink, brings on some stares, and maybe
> even closed opinions.
> all this brings on a heavy social burden on both people involved.
> Some of the foreigners might be the scum of the earth, and some might
> be decent people.
> Some might be considered very good looking, or have charming
> personalites, and the locals might even ask these foreigners if they
> are married or not, or mislead some into thinking they should have
> girlfriends in their country.
> In China, when someone asks a foreigner if they have a girfriend, and
> that they should get one, it really doesn't mean anything at all.
> It's almost the same as asking someone if they have eaten today or
> not.
> The society has taught people to say many things that they just don't
> mean at all. Yes...it's two-faced, but don't worry because just about
> every society in the world has it's hipocrasy.
Laowai
- 2004-09-05
> For what it's worth, I am most happily married to a Shanghai lady and have found near-total acceptance not only by her extended family but also by the neighbors. But, having said this, I must note that it IS Shanghai and not some backwater where white faces bring out the gawkers. Plus we're well beyond the age of consent. And we comport ourselves appropriately.
Dating and relationships not only in China but perhaps S. Korea and
> Japan...
> First off, these countries haven't much diversity in their long
> cultures.
> Basically, one people nations with one people ideologies. FACT.
> The local people really haven't had many opportunities to relate to
> people outside of their communities, much yet foreigners.
> Locals (country or city) are almost immediately suspicious when
> seeing any foreigner and one of their own sharing common activities
> together in public.
> Really most people would prefer to see foreigners as 24 hour round
> the clock English teachers / tourists = alone in the host country.
> Many prefer to be friends with a foreigner small groups...this
> reduces any public suspicion and clearly shows that the relationship
> is a platonic one.
> I've talked to foreigners who admitted the problems faced in
> relationships.
> (don't worry, i've had some experience of my own too.)
> From suspicion, to parents kindly giving money to the foreigner to
> stay away from their daughter, or total strangers in public, walking
> right up to the girl, and yelling at her about what a traitor to her
> own country people they think she is...the list goes on.
> If such societies had some degree of diversity, then maybe the people
> might have more relaxed attitudes towards this subject.
> Diversity in western countries, escpecially the USA, are developed
> but far from perfect.
> As you know a black and white relationship can still receive some
> amount of suspicion or disapproval. (i've lived this one.)
> Some people are fighting for same sex marriage laws to be passed, gay
> and lesbian rights, transgendered issues and rights.
> Yes, the USA certainly has ethnic and cultural diversity in it's
> borders, but the machine is far perfect.
> China, S. Korea and Japan haven't even come this far.
> i don't feel that dating and relationships in these societies are
> ever quite so natural or enjoyable for both people, unless they
> really have had the chance to really get to know each other.
> With language differences, i wonder how this is even possible.
> I believe that only a small percentage of fortunate people are
> enjoying such relationships. "Cheers to them! :)
> They have to have very thick skins, patience and a true commitment to
> each other.
> Even simple casual dating in these societies usually brings on
> suspicion from the locals.
> Going out for dinner or a drink, brings on some stares, and maybe
> even closed opinions.
> all this brings on a heavy social burden on both people involved.
> Some of the foreigners might be the scum of the earth, and some might
> be decent people.
> Some might be considered very good looking, or have charming
> personalites, and the locals might even ask these foreigners if they
> are married or not, or mislead some into thinking they should have
> girlfriends in their country.
> In China, when someone asks a foreigner if they have a girfriend, and
> that they should get one, it really doesn't mean anything at all.
> It's almost the same as asking someone if they have eaten today or
> not.
> The society has taught people to say many things that they just don't
> mean at all. Yes...it's two-faced, but don't worry because just about
> every society in the world has it's hipocrasy.
Dating and relationships not only in China but perhaps S. Korea and Japan...
First off, these countries haven't much diversity in their long cultures.
Basically, one people nations with one people ideologies. FACT.
The local people really haven't had many opportunities to relate to people outside of their communities, much yet foreigners.
Locals (country or city) are almost immediately suspicious when seeing any foreigner and one of their own sharing common activities together in public.
Really most people would prefer to see foreigners as 24 hour round the clock English teachers / tourists = alone in the host country.
Many prefer to be friends with a foreigner small groups...this reduces any public suspicion and clearly shows that the relationship is a platonic one.
I've talked to foreigners who admitted the problems faced in relationships.
(don't worry, i've had some experience of my own too.)
From suspicion, to parents kindly giving money to the foreigner to stay away from their daughter, or total strangers in public, walking right up to the girl, and yelling at her about what a traitor to her own country people they think she is...the list goes on.
If such societies had some degree of diversity, then maybe the people might have more relaxed attitudes towards this subject.
Diversity in western countries, escpecially the USA, are developed but far from perfect.
As you know a black and white relationship can still receive some amount of suspicion or disapproval. (i've lived this one.)
Some people are fighting for same sex marriage laws to be passed, gay and lesbian rights, transgendered issues and rights.
Yes, the USA certainly has ethnic and cultural diversity in it's borders, but the machine is far perfect.
China, S. Korea and Japan haven't even come this far.
i don't feel that dating and relationships in these societies are ever quite so natural or enjoyable for both people, unless they really have had the chance to really get to know each other.
With language differences, i wonder how this is even possible.
I believe that only a small percentage of fortunate people are enjoying such relationships. "Cheers to them! :)
They have to have very thick skins, patience and a true commitment to each other.
Even simple casual dating in these societies usually brings on suspicion from the locals.
Going out for dinner or a drink, brings on some stares, and maybe even closed opinions.
all this brings on a heavy social burden on both people involved.
Some of the foreigners might be the scum of the earth, and some might be decent people.
Some might be considered very good looking, or have charming personalites, and the locals might even ask these foreigners if they are married or not, or mislead some into thinking they should have girlfriends in their country.
In China, when someone asks a foreigner if they have a girfriend, and that they should get one, it really doesn't mean anything at all.
It's almost the same as asking someone if they have eaten today or not.
The society has taught people to say many things that they just don't mean at all. Yes...it's two-faced, but don't worry because just about every society in the world has it's hipocrasy.