I once wrote down all the things I was telling myself throughout the day-- the random thoughts, criticisms, concerns. It was amazing! I never realized how harsh I was to myself.

I have my career change clients do the same thing. It's clear that we beat ourselves up too much for what is not working or not right with our lives, and in this case, our jobs.

If you ever had a friend speak to you the way you speak to yourself, you would have ended that friendship a long time ago.

It's the "shoulds" that get us and we don't even realize it.

During my monthly teleclass, How to Figure Out What You Want When You are Changing Careers I hear these "shoulds" firsthand:

"I should have figured my career out a long time ago."

"I should be happy to have a job in the first place."

"I shouldn't do this now. I have a mortgage."

This is all nonsense.

There is no perfect time to change careers, nor a magic set of circumstances under which to do so. And no, there is no deadline for when you are supposed to have IT all worked out.

Staying busy beating yourself up for not changing careers yet is a waste of time. It's really just another way of distracting yourself from making any sort of change in the first place. You become preoccupied with the "shoulds" leaving no time to do anything about your situation.

And guess what that leads you to... more self-criticism.

Instead of complaining about what is not right or what should be different, acknowledge your fears (yes, you are supposed to be afraid) and go ahead -- take action -- any action -- toward a new career. At first you'll feel uncomfortable, but I promise, you will get over it. You might actually enjoy yourself as you see yourself finally making some real progress!

(c) 2007 Segaric Coaching, Inc.
Annemarie Segaric is a respected career change coach, motivational speaker, and author. Does your company, group or association deal with people in transition? Ask about bulk discounts on the career tips booklet "107 Tips For Changing Your Career While Still Paying the Bills" Ready to switch careers and don't know where to begin? Visit http://www.segaric.com and download your own career change toolkit today.