I'm thinking of getting a TASER to bring to my classes to "help" my students learn this stuff. Do these things have different settings like those phasers do in Star Trek?

If it does have variable settings, I'll have to decide which settings are appropriate for which problems.

Perhaps this would be a good start:

1. Absent from two or more classes then bitches about being "lost" in the class: Low Stun

2. Absent from ALL classes then bitches the exam is "too hard": medium stun

3. Won't do homework when asked: medium stun

4. Reverts to L1 grammar: medium stun

5. Makes the same writing mistake for the 26th time: heavy stun.

6. Talks in class: heavy stun

7. Acts up in class (first time): low stun

second-fourth occurence): heavy stun

fifth occurence: light coma stun

8. Assaults teacher: heavy coma stun